


Tears And Colors

by Meilean



Series: Brotherhood AU [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherhood AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29004660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meilean/pseuds/Meilean
Summary: Life is perfect for 6-year-old Caleb Reaves. He lives in a beautiful beach house with his loving parents. But one horrible night changes everything. After a devastating event, he finds himself alone and traumatized. If it weren't for his grandma, he couldn't go on. But fate has more in store for him.Follow him in Tears And Colors on his way through loss, first love, fights, nightmares, and unexpected events.
Series: Brotherhood AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080896





	1. A House On The Beach

**Author's Note:**

> This story can be separated in 3 timeperiods: part 1 (ch 1-5) part 2 (ch 6-10) part 3 (ch 11-15)

North Carolina, 2. November 1978

It was a mess. Red blobs covered the six-year-old's white shirt and the floor.

"Mom!"

Amelia Reaves looked up from her dark seascape and a smile spread across her face.

"Let's see honey!"

The black-haired woman put the brush aside and went over to her son to look at his artwork.

"It's very nice, is it a house?"

"Yes Mommy, it's our house, look, I even painted your poppies!"

"I really like that."

She strode Caleb through the beautiful dark hair he had inherited from her.

"Let's have a break. Take off Daddy's shirt and wash yourself, I'll make us something to eat."

Caleb was still struggling with the buttons on the shirt while he heard his mother clattering the dishes in the kitchen. Finally he was able to free himself and he carelessly dropped the shirt on the floor to wash his hands.

Amelia set the table on the porch overlooking the vast ocean.

"Caleb, supper is ready!"

"Yes Mommy, I'm coming."

Caleb came running like a whirlwind and was caught by his mother.

"Careful my darling, Mommy has a baby in her belly."

Caleb tenderly put a hand on her belly.

"I think I'll have a brother."

"Well if you think so ..."

She shoveled a big portion of scrambled eggs and a slice of toast on her neat little boys plate. A gentle salty breeze blew the seagulls screaming towards them.

"Where's Daddy? Doesn't he eat with us today?"

"He meets with Kieth today. He'll be late. Now eat."

Amelia wished Isaac had come home too. But it was about the new job on the island. That would bring them good money in winter. Sometimes she was surprised that her son was so sensitive. Inevitably, she had to think of her mother, who always seemed to know what you were thinking.

***SPN***BH AU***

The brush slid slowly through the black hair. Caleb watched his mother perform this ritual every night. He was lying on his stomach on his parents' bed, watching his mother.

"May I also take care of my brother?"

The boy blurted out of the blue. The young mother paused and looked at her son.

"Of course you can, it's even a big brother's job to take care that the little brother doesn't get into trouble. But I think you will do very well. But there is still some time until then. Do you want to play with my jewelry while I'm getting ready?"

The child immediately moved and he jumped up from the bed to disappear into the closet to open the coveted box.

Caleb closed the closet door behind him. Now he could devote all his attention to the treasure. There were black stones with small white dots, a purple pendant, a pearl necklace, feathers, and silver rings. In an extra box, they had collected particularly beautiful shells and broken glass, which the sea had grounded smooth.

Amelia finished combing and put the brush back in the dresser. She picked up the letter her mother had written to her and read it again, when suddenly someone entered the room.

"Isaac, you scared me. I wasn't expecting you so early ..."

Caleb played in the jewelry box, immersed in the fact that he didn't hear his father come in at first.

But now he heard his parents talking heatedly. His name had fallen.

"… What why does that have to be now? You promissed it ..."

His parents rarely quarreled. But Caleb was confident that they would get along quickly. So it was otherwise and afterwards they both laughed at their stupid argument and cuddled on the sofa.

He picked up a shard of glass that was a nice dark green and held it in front of his eye. The world was green now. His mother's white chiffon dress was also bathed in green light. He put it next to the box. And went on with his treasure hunt.

The next object of his desire was an Indian necklace made of wood and mint green stones. Amelia rarely put them on, except when she sometimes dressed up and played with Caleb that she was an Indian princess who was kidnapped and Caleb had to save her.

His mother scolded Isaac more and more. He couldn't understand what it was about.

He put the jewelry back in the box and put it back. His mother didn't like it if he just left the things that were dear to her. He approached the closet door and peeked through the slats in the door. He saw his father, who was hastily working on a package with the letter opener.

Caleb turned back and climbed the little footstool. He pulled the cord and turned off the light in the closet when he heard a scream. He opened the door a crack wide.

But what he saw he could not believe. His mother lay lifeless in the arms of his father, who was holding a gun. There was a bloody letter opener on the floor.

The six-year-old froze and heard a noise that seemed to be getting louder and louder. Desperate, he saw his father try to stop the wound in Amelia's chest from bleeding. The closet door squeaked and his father looked at him with wide eyes. Tears ran down his cheeks. Isaac never cried. His lips moved. But Caleb could no longer understand the words. The noise in his head became so loud that he thought his head would burst.

The next thing he saw was his father pointing the gun at his head and pulled the trigger.

The shot stopped the noise in his head and it was dead silent. Caleb finally found the courage to move. He stepped out of the door completly.

It was like before in the studio on his shirt, red blobs on the bed he had been lying on just a few minutes earlier. It tarnished the carpet, the closet door. It stuck to mom's mouth. It was everywhere. He looked away from his father's body and went to his mother, who was lying on the floor. The boy didn't seem to notice or he just didn't want to see his father's dead body on the ground. He crouched next to his mother and pulled on her arm.

"Mommy. .." he brought out in a brittle voice. "Mommy, wake up! Mommy ... "

The shrill ringing of the phone startled Caleb. He let it ring trough and pressed himself closer to his lifeless mother and started crying. The taste of the salty sea air mixed with the metallic smell of blood. He felt sick.

The phone rang again. An inner voice ordered Caleb to answer it. Finally he picked up the receiver.

***SPN***BH AU***

New Orleans

She woke up from sleep. Soaked in sweat, she ran shaking fingers though her gray curls. What a nightmare. Ruth switched on the bedside lamp and went to the bathroom to get some water. That would surely wash away the rest of the dream.

But the fresh, clear water did the opposite. Suddenly she realized that it was not a dream but a vision. A terrible one. She descended the steep wooden stairs, her hand clasping the handrail. Regardless of the late hour, she picked up the phone and dialed her daughter's number.

The bell rang until there was only a quick toot-toot. The older woman hung up the phone with concern. Her shaky hand ran over her wrinkled face.

Please, please don't let that be true. Amelia, Caleb ...

She concentrated on her loved ones and dialed the same number in North Carolina again.

Time dragged on like chewing gum. Ruth was in despair when the phone was finally picked up. There was silence, only broken by soft sobs that sounded at the other end of the line.

"Caleb! Is it you darling? Are you okay?"

"Grand-ma? ..."

A heavy sobbing began. Fear started to creep up her throat.

"Honey what's up, give me Amelia on the phone."

"Mommy doesn't wake up. She is injured. Grandma, she doesn't wake up. And Daddy ..." Caleb's voice broke. He just couldn't say any more words.

Ruth was horrified. Had her dream really happened? Was her little grandson really standing with his dead parents in the master bedroom, alone at the beach house? The tears ran down her cheeks.

"Caleb, listen to me now. I will come to you as soon as I can. You now go to your room and wait there. I will send an ambulance and the police to your house. Don't be afraid of them, they'll take good care of you until I'm with you. It will be alright. Do you understand me?"

"... yes Grandma." Caleb still held the receiver in his hand until it started to 'toot'.

Ruth dialed again, this time 9-1-1. It took a while before she explained the situation to the emergency services. At first they didn't want to believe that she had just been on the phone to her grandson in North Carolina, whose parents were supposed to be dead or seriously injured on the bedroom floor. But finally they promised, they would send an ambulance over.

Ruth didn't have a car, just her friend. With trembling hands the elder woman grabbed her house keys, as she always did when she left the house. She crossed the quiet street that lay before her in the dimly setting sun. She pushed the button labeled "Bird Isbell" and then waited at the heavy dark brown wooden door. The light came on inside and she saw the outline of Bird approaching through the glass panes of the door.

***SPN***BH AU***

The ambulance's flashing lights came to life and hurriedly pulled out of the hospital exit.

The man behind the wheel drove over the beard stubble that had formed overnight. He glanced briefly at his passenger.

"What's coming up today?"

"A double murder maybe, the son is said to be still in the house. The police will be on their way too. I hope they bring a child psychologist with them. Otherwise it will stick to me again."

The red-haired woman started to collect a clipboard with all the necessary forms while her colleague safely steered the car to the beach.

"Oh Amy, you always do it very well with the families. Let's hope we can save somebody."

The 25-year-old paramedic let out a sigh.

"Hm, so do I."

10 minutes later they turned to the beach.

"Mike up there, it has to be."

Mike and Amy took their bags and hurried up the stairs to the proch where the front door lay. Knocked and entered because the door was not locked.

"Hello? Here's the ambulance, is anybody here?"

The house remained dead still. Amy looked at Mike questioningly. Finally, they continued through the long hallway in the direction from which the light came. Amy pushed open the white door and her breath caught.

She swallowed hard and entered bravely. First she reached the woman and the boy. Her colleague went to the man with the bullet wound in the head. She didn't think there was anything left to do. She felt the pulse on the woman, but she felt cool to the touch. She had a wound in the area of her heart. A little boy, maybe 5 or 6 years old, lay completely still on the floor next to her, holding her hand. She carefully touched him to feel his pulse too. He immediately jumped up and threw himself protectively over his dead mother.

"No, don't do anything to her!"

"Hey, it's ok. Calm down, I'm a paramedic. I just want to help you. Are you injured?"

"Can you make my mom healthy again?"

"I am so sorry. I can't do anything for her, but I can help you. Come with me to your room first I'll check you over, ok?"

Caleb looked uncertainly into the freckled face of the medic. He looked down at her uniform to her outstretched hand.

They'll take good care of you until I'm with you, Caleb recalled the words of his grandma.

Finally he took her hand and walked down the hall with her. Out of the room where his previous life ended.

"I'm Amy, what's your name?"

"Caleb." The boy replied very quietly. His reddened eyes looked sadly at Amy.

"Can you maybe save my brother?"

The young woman was startled if they had overlooked something. Mike was just coming along the hall. She quickly turned back to Caleb. "Where's your brother, Caleb?"

"In Mommy's belly."

Amy's eyes filled with tears that she couldn't hold back, Mike looked over at her and slowly shook his head.  
At that moment the shrill police sirens could be heard arriving. The scene was disrupted by the entering police officers and Amy was glad not to have to answer Caleb's question. She just hugged him.

Evidence had also arrived in the meantime. Caleb heard so many strange voices in his home. He felt sick when he went to Amy's hand in his room. Amy opened the door where the boy had stopped. When she went in and turned on the light switch, her vision was chaught by the artworks on Caleb's children room wall. Beach houses with flowers, seascapes, and families laughing happily. A bed decorated with shells, a wardrobe with a wooden model of a bridge on it and a desk with a huge box full of crayons. The red-haired medic pulled Caleb gently into the room and headed for the bed. The boy let himself be drawn and sat silently on the edge of his bed.

"Is there anyone we can call? An aunt or uncle or grandmother?"

Caleb stared silently at his nightstand, on which there was a playing card, the Deuce of Spades that his father had given him a few days ago, when his parents told him that he'll going to have a sibling. It was not yet clear what it would be, which is why his father gave him the Wild Card as his father called it. Since then it has always been on his nightstand. He reached out and took the card.

Amy watched him carefully. Suddenly he became very pale around the nose she stroked his back.

"Come on, let's go to the ambulance car, I can help you better there."

Caleb stopped moving. The only thing he could do was clutch the playing card. Before the world went black.

"Mike! Help me over here!"

Amy caught Caleb, who had collapsed. She felt for his pulse and checked his breath as Mike rushed to her aid.

***SPN***BH AU***

New Orleans

Luckily, Bird hadn't asked many questions, but switched on her brain, because Ruth couldn't do much at the moment.

"I'll call the airport when a flight leaves. Calm down first."

Ruth did as she was told and sat on Bird's red sofa. She heard Birdell talking to the airport across the hall. She looked down at her hands, which were trembling. When she soon buried her face in it and shed bitter tears.

"I understand, thanks for your help."

Bird made a few notes and hung up the phone. The next flight would not leave until 6:10 a.m. Her long-time friend had slumped on the sofa. Ruth couldn't be left alone in that state. So she had booked for both of them straight away.

"Come on Ruth, we go over to you and you pack some things for the flight and rest a little. I take care of the rest.

Ruth had finally fallen asleep. It was approaching midnight. Birdell didn't know what to do with her friend's testimony. But their predictions were mostly accurate. Therefore, she immediately believed that she had dreamed of her daughter's death and her grandson's confirming that at least something bad had happened. Bird startled as the phone rang. She didn't want Ruth to wake up again. She quickly picked up the receiver.

"Hello, with Chaille, Bird Isbell on the line."

"Hello, this is Wilmington Police Station. We were called from this connection and sent to an emergency, is Mrs. Ruth Chaille to speak to?"

"Ruth lay down and sleeps, I'm her friend, can you tell me news?"

"I'm very sorry, but I have to inform you that her daughter Amelia Reaves and her husband Isaac are both dead. There was nothing more we could do for them. The son of the two is here in the hospital. He is not injured, but has collapsed and is being treated there now. Will Mrs. Chaille be able to come here? I think she's the boy's closest relative."

"Oh my god, that's terrible. Yes I understand. We have already booked a flight, but we won't be landing in Wilmington until around noon. Which hospital should we go to?"

"Your friend's grandson is in Medac Urgent Care, I'll call there and let them know you'll be there tomorrow."

"Thank you officer."

Ruth hung up and breathed heavily. So she had to bring the bad news to Ruth. At least Caleb wasn't hurt.

***SPN***BH AU***

Medac Urgent Care Wilmington, North Carolina

Caleb opened his eyes. He was definitely not at home in the beach house. The walls were white, as was the ceiling. There was a steady beep and an annoying clip on his finger that he tore off immediately. He was startled, the latest events hit the little boy like a blow to the stomach.

"Mom, Dad?" He whispered the question.

Then the door to his room was opened. A worried-faced nurse came in.

"Hey you woke up, I got an alarm because you removed the meter."

How do you feel. The sister checked him through briefly but received no response from the boy.

"Here take a sip of water."

He let her help him drinking.

"Your name is Caleb Reaves, is that correct?"

Caleb could only nod slightly.

"Ok, I'm Emily. I'll let the doctor know you're awake."

The nurse left the room again. Caleb sank back on the pillows and tears ran down his cheeks.

After the doctor was there, the medic Amy came to him. Encouragingly, she came closer.

"Hi Caleb, I'm glad that you are awake again, I was worried about you. I understand if you don't want to talk. I brought you something, I had the impression that it is important to you."

She held out the Deuce of Spades to him. Caleb flashed his eyes and carefully took the card out of Amy's hand.

"I heard your grandma is on the way here. She will be here in the early afternoon. Take care of you little buddy."

She drove through the boy's dark hair. And quietly went out the door. Caleb looked at the playing card for a long time and cried for his lost brother.

TBC


	2. Some Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruth Chaille gets horrible news. She runs the hospital to Wilmington to her Grandson Caleb. She has to find out what happened at the beach house.

They had left for the airport in the early morning.

When the plane finally landed in Wilmington, Ruth could hardly remember the flight's stops. She always felt sick while flying. That's why she had only visited Amelia twice.

Isaac had built a beach house for her daughter, as Amelia had always dreamt of. He had tried to fulfill her every wish, pampered her, spoiled her as even Ruth never had.

During the construction phase, Amelia and little Caleb had stayed with her in New Orleans for a few weeks. There had been fishing and laughter. seeing the sights, sitting with Bird in the garden, grilling marshmallows over the small fire pit behind the house.

According to her two visits, Isaac had lovingly looked after Amelia and Caleb. How he built the wooden bridge model with Caleb was heart-warming. The two were like a well-coordinated building unit.

So what had just happened last night? The vision had been blurry. She couldn't put the details together.

"...Ruth? Did you hear what I just said? I asked if you wanted to eat something?" Ruth was so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed that her friend was talking to her at the baggage claim. Bird had smeared a couple of sandwiches, but she couldn't bring herself to force anything down.

She glanced at the sandwiches. Filled with cheese and juicy tomatoes, crispy onions, peppers, lettuce, spinach, sprouts, olives, pickles, cucumbers, and mushrooms; Bird was a food-lover and her sandwiches were just made with love. But today she just mutely shook her head.

When they finally got to the hospital, Ruth was completely exhausted, so she let Bird do the talking. During the night she had lain awake for a long time, thinking about her daughter, the baby, and Caleb.

Amelia had been overjoyed when they had last talked, excitedly rambling on the phone last week that they would have a baby again. Ruth couldn't get the excited chatter, her lively laughter, her Amelia so very vibrant and alive, out of her mind.

And now they were all be dead except Caleb. She turned away from her own misery.

She had already cried and cried the night before when she got the news. Now wasn't the time for her to mourn, it was time for Caleb.

"We are here for Caleb Thomas Reaves, he is 6 years old and was brought here yesterday."

"Are you related to the boy?" The nurse at the registration peered up from her glasses, which she wore at the tip of her nose, up into Bird's narrow face.

"No, not me, but my friend here is his Grandma."

"Hmm," the nurse looked through the mountain of paper-work on her desk. "Do you have ID proof? You must also fill out this form."

She slammed the paper-work on the desk. "Standard procedure, I'm afraid."

It took almost 30 minutes until Sarah, as her name-tag said was satisfied. Ruth was about ready to scream.

"He is in the children's ward on the 2nd floor. I'll call for the doctor so he can tell you everything else."

***** SPN *** BH AU ****

The elevator doors closed behind the two women on their way to Caleb.

"What do you want to do now Ruth? Are you sure Isaac didn't go just crazy?"

"If only I knew that. I have a strange feeling about that. Isaac would have never hurt Amelia. I will talk to Cilia when we are back home. We don't have the time now to clear this up and get help here, first we have to go to Caleb. Impossible to imagine what he went through last night. I hope there will be no problems getting custody of Caleb. I'll have a look at the beach house myself later to be certain."

At the children's ward they were received by Dr. Thomas, a young black haired man.

"Hello, are you the grandmother of Caleb?" He held out his hand to Ruth in greeting.

"Yes you're right."

"My sincere condolences to the loss of your daughter." He put the other Hand on top of Ruth's and give her a caring glance.

"If you come over here briefly, I can talk to you about Caleb for a short time before you can see him."

Ruth nodded and followed Dr. Thomas's outstretched hand into a small exam room where it was quieter. Bird closed the door behind them.

"Please take a seat."

They settled down the leather chairs, while the doctor opened Calebs file.

"Caleb suffered a shock and collapsed in his parents' house yesterday evening. We therefore admitted him to the station for surveillance. Thank goodness he woke up by himself this morning, but he doesn't speak to us. We have already brought in a child psychologist. Caleb probably saw everything. At the moment there is not much we can do but wait until he has the courage to speak again. We were hoping that you could get through to him. But be careful and don't push him. I understand that you have to be exhausted yourself, but you have to be strong for your grandson now. "

"Of course I will. Do you already know what exactly happened?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you much about that. It is best to discuss this with the homicide investigators. They are still in the hospital and have been waiting for your arrival to ask you a few more questions anyway."

Bird put a hand on her friend's arm to add something.

"Ruth will definitely do that, but first we want to see Caleb now."

"Of course, please come."

They followed the doctor into the nearby room. The 6 year old lay on a bed and looked out of the small window at the skyscrapers. He didn't respond when the three people opened the door, not even when the doctor spoke to him. Ruth entered and approached her grandson alone.

"Caleb my darling. It's grandma. I'm here."

Finally the boy came to life, he looked at Ruth for a few moments. The pain and horror of the night had been chiseled into his face. She had never seen so much grief in a child's eyes.

Caleb hadn't seen his grandmother in half a year. She called every week to chat with them. Her amber eyes looked at him lovingly. Finally someone was there for him, someone who could give consolation and maybe make everything all right again. The tears came to his eyes.

She made the last steps to the bed and closed her arms around Caleb. The little boy didn't react at first, but then grabbed hard in her shirt and started crying.

"Shhh. It's good, I'm here my darling, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll give you some time. If you need me, I'm in the office at the end of the hall."

Dr. Thomas turned and went out the door.

**** SPN *** BH AU ****

Bird was sitting in the hallway outside Caleb's room when she noticed movement. Ruth came out of the room quietly.

"He's sleeping now" exhausted, she sank into one of the hospital chairs next to her friend and buried her face in her hands. There was a slight sob. Bird hugged her until she slowly calmed down.

"What should I do now?"

"Don't worry, I'm here for you Ruth, and Caleb is there for you, just like you for him. Do you understand? You have to be strong for each other now, like Dr. Thomas said earlier."

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to calm down again.

"Yes you are right. We only have each other now. Can you sit a little next to him I have to talk to the doctor once more and the police as well. Caleb needs a few of his things. I go to the beach house and look what I will find. I'll try to be back here as soon as possible."

"Of course I will. Are you sure you can manage that?"

Her friend nodded bravely and then went to Dr. Thomas office.

*** SPN *** BH AU ****

Ruth stepped out of the hospital building and breathed the fresh air. She pulled out her notebook and started taking notes.  
The information the homicide team could tell her had only confirmed her vision.

Isaac's fingerprints had been found on the letter opener, as had Amelia's. But that wasn't proof enough for Ruth. Rather, she wondered where Isaac got the gun from, with which he had shot himself. This was proven by the analysts. Unfortunately, she could only take a quick look at the colt. What immediately struck was the pentagram which was engraved in the handle. She was asked whether it was a family heirloom. Ruth replied that it probably had come from Isaac's family. She had to get her hands on this revolver.

She has been doing genealogy for some time. In that notebook she had gathered all the notes. With her side she had come back so far that there were no more records in America and the relatives to France could not be checked further without flying to Europe. So she thought Caleb might be interested in it at some point and since Isaac had no living relatives to question, she wanted to find out about him and did some research. What you do when you get old and live alone she wondered.

It had taken a while for her to collect extracts from the family books from all the offices. A first interesting and also disturbing detail was that Isaac's mother and grandmother were found with their throats slashed, and he grew up in an orphanage. Of course you don't like to talk about something like that.  
As she continued to research, it was noticed that there was only one descendant, male, in the past generations, and they always died as young men. The cause of death was not specified. In addition, in 1840 no father was recorded for a certain Thomas Reaves and she could not trace the name Reaves any further. But she came across the name of the godfather of said child, a Cole Tanner, to an organization called the Brotherhood.

She had met a lot of people in her life, and there were also many who took her help through Hoodoo. So she had stretched out her antennae and found out that it was a hunting organization that still survived today. Mostly they hunted demons and ghosts, but vampires and werewolves were also on the list. Could it be that Isaac's family were hunters? Were they attacked by something supernatural yesterday? One thing was certain for Ruth: as strange as Isaac had seemed to her. He had always been full of love for Amelia and idolized his little boy. Whatever happened yesterday could not simply be dismissed as a murder-suicide. She had to be certain.  
She would drive to the beach house and see the bedroom herself. In addition, she could also get things for Caleb. She wouldn't bring him back into the house.

The drive to the beach house had only taken 10 minutes. The taxi driver had given her his card so that she could request it again later.  
The few steps up to the porch seemed endless to Ruth. She carefully removed the yellow tape from the police. Finally she opened the front door.

Everything looked normal in there. Ruth took a moment, then she went straight to Caleb's room. The room had been repainted since the last time she was here. A delicate blue on the ceiling and sand-colored walls. The furniture was made of white wood that reminded of flotsam. Several large palm trees were arranged in the room. It had an atmosphere of a pirate island but with a delicate beach breeze. Amelia had always had a talent for decorating. She remembered talking on the phone about the new decoration on Caleb's bed of shells that Caleb had collected.  
She broke away from the sight and opened the wardrobe and started packing Caleb's clothes into a bag that she found on the bottom of the closet. When she had packed enough there was also room for the crayons and a drawing pad that was on the desk and for a few children's books. She decided for Robin Hood and The Tale of King Arthur. She zipped up and heaved the bag into the hallway.

She passed Isaac's office. A collapsed house of cards on the desk caught her eye briefly. She stepped inside. Construction plans for houses and various designs hung on the walls. She sat down at the desk and opened the drawers. Finally she found what she was looking for and pulled out a family book. She leafed through it briefly. Caleb's birth certificate was on the top. She took the book with her and put it in the bag in the hallway.

Now Ruth headed for the bedroom at the end of the hall and opened the door with trembling hands. The elder woman thought she was ready for the sight, but the blood that had dried, Amelias blood, on the floorboards and the stains on the wall and the bed threatened to overwhelm her. She held her hand over her mouth in horror and briefly closed her eyes to suppress the tears that rose in her eyes.

It smelled of blood, but there was something else. Another smell. Ruth took all of her strength and continued into the room. She stopped at the window. Now the smell was dominant. A yellow powder could be found in the corner of the window. Ruth strode a finger through it and smelled carefully - Sulfur.

The element now confirmed her suspicions. She needed to find out more and has to interview her contacts. Oh Amelia, what had she got into?

Ruth took the witch bags out of her handbag and started placing one in every direction of the room. Finally, she burned a bond of herbs which was intended to disguise her intrusion into the house and to keep strangers from visiting.

TBC


	3. A New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has to find a way to go on.

New Orleans December 1978

The pencil slid gently over the paper. Lines connected to a form and forms gave an image. Caleb painted a lot. His grandma collected all of his works in a large folder in her desk. She was sure that he had inherited his talent from Amelia. Today he was supposed to paint a picture for the child psychologist. He hated these sessions, why couldn't the adults just leave him alone? His grandma was convinced that he had to speak to someone and since he didn't do it with her, she had asked for help from the youth welfare office and signed Caleb up for a weekly meeting there. Curtney skillfully positioned himself to experience his mental state. She played games with him, let him speak the voices of animals in stories during role-playing games and if he didn't want to, she let him draw something in peace. The homework always had an theme, today it was "his favorite place". The boy looked at his work. That should be enough to satisfy her. He put the picture in his folder and closed it. Now he pulled a sketch pad of thicker paper out of the closet and picked up an orange-red pencil. As the lines were drawn across the paper, Caleb's thoughts drifted away.

He hadn't been to New Orleans long. After he had to watch his parents' gruesome murder and suicide nearly two month ago, Ruth had brought him to her. He had withdrawn completely and had communicated little with Ruth. No wonder he hardly knew any other children here. But when visited school again it wasn't easy. He couldn't sit in the house with her forever and shut off the world. That hadn't made school start here peachy. He felt like an outsider. All the children had whispered over the new boy. Caleb didn't know anyone. He was alone and felt so lost.

"Caleb! Are you coming? Bird is waiting for us."

"Yes Grandma, I'll be right down."

But he didn't hurry. He didn't really want to go anywhere. See no one and speak to no one. He closed the block and put the pen on the block and shoved everything into his backpack.

Ruth needed new fabric for her little bags of stones and herbs and other things in it that she sold. Bird wanted to take her to town. She had also made one for him and hung it on his bed. He should chase away bad dreams. It hadn't brought much before. He glanced briefly at the sack on his bed and shook his head. The dream he had had tonight was at least nothing about the death of his parents or the sea that choked him. But a good one for a change, he hadn't cried out in a sweat, and had slept through the night. The dream had just been a feeling, warm, orange and soft. It almost felt like he was being petted. He couldn't find the right word for it.

"Caleb Thomas Reaves! Move your ass down here, Bird doesn't have time to wait for us all day."

He slipped onto his shoes and then began hurrying down the stairs bevor his Grandma could scream for him again. As he ran past, he grabbed his blue denim jacket that Ruth had sewn on with funny patches. His grandmother loved sewing, at the moment she was making a quilt from scraps of fabric. It should be a blanket. Caleb didn't quite have the end result in mind. But Ruth kept humming when she was working and he liked the sound. Since the devastating night his parents died, there hasn't been much to bring a little peace to his broken heart. But that was one of them.

Bird's mobile pedestal was a 1975 Dodge Colt in pea green. Not exactly fancy, but it brought them safely from A to B. During the drive into the city center, they passed lots of southern state houses with their short stairways to the doors and the white columns that some houses had almost endlessly. Mostly there was a strip of green next to the road followed by a footpath that connected to the front yard of each house. The city center looked a little different. The crossing houses had elongated balconies that followed the course of the crossing in a round shape. The railings were decorated with elaborate patterns. Caleb could look at all the houses and buildings endlessly. But while he was still pondering the decorations, Bird turned off the engine.

"I'm going to the library with Caleb first, and we'll meet you in the shop."

Ruth peeled out of the car and buttoned her coat. The December air was cool.

"Come on Sweetheart, let's see if we can find something interesting for you."

Caleb climbed out of the Dodge and took Ruth's hand.

"See you later Ruth!" Bird locked and left the other way.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The public library was not his favorite place, because reading didn't really work. When Ruth spoke to the librarian, a friend of his grandmother's. He usually retired to the children's corner and looked at the painted picture books. He liked to paint from them at home. Today he found one about dragons that fascinated him.

"Cilia do you have news for me?"

"Ah Ruth, yes, come with me to my research room. Caleb, you're ok without us for a moment?"

The boy nodded briefly from the sofa and turned back to the pictures.  
Ruth followed Cilia behind the bar into a small room, the walls of which were also filled with books. The older woman loved the smell of the room. It was leather, ink and wood. Cilia was very keen on everything supernatural. She had a private collection back here. After learning that Cole Tanner was a hunter, she continued to research on her own and heard rumors about hunters and a brotherhood made up of special hunters.  
Cilia tried to find out more about Tanner by contacting a Wyoming librarian, Stuart Hastings, an old college colleague. Sunrise Wyoming was the last known location. Cole Tanner and his friend Daniel Wilmington were kidnapped and later found to be dead. The circumstances were shady. A friend of the two had given up an obituary, a certain Samuel Colt, in which the brotherhood was mentioned. But what made it interesting was that a few months ago someone had researched exactly this Samuel Colt. Cilia had to promise Stuart a date, because the lonely bachelor was not much more interesting for the female gender due to his job and he had hoped for years that Cilia would at least go out with him and so he seized the chance and gave her the seeker's phone number only on the promise that they would meet. Cilia's curiosity was great enough to agree.

"You owe me something for that. I have the guy's phone number." The blonde held out an index card to Ruth.

Daniel Elkins, 970-555-0156

"Stuart found him kind of creepy. But he knew a lot about this Samuel Colt, I bet he can help you too."

Ruth took the card and hugged her friend.

"Thank you Cilia, you are the best."

"Of course I am. Hopefully Stuart won't propose marriage to me straight away. He has always run after me. A bit cute, actually, like a puppy. But who else is courting me? Librarian isn't very sexy, is it? Maybe you gave me the chance of a lifetime." Cilia winked cheekily and grinned from ear to ear.

"Well then, I wish you the best. But not that you pounce on him like a bitch in heat."

"Ruth! What do you think of me!"

Cilia smirked and the two women went forward again.

"Have you already finished my book?"

"No, it will take me a little while longer."

"No problem, it's in good hands with you."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Caleb was bored in the store where they later met Bird. There was some esoteric stuff and colorful clothes, and it smelled in here as if his stomach was about to turn, somehow like mothballs and incense sticks. He decided for a spot on the floor in a corner. The air was a little better here. The boy had chosen a book about the Knights of the Round Table and was copying the drawings with sandwich paper, which he always carried with him behind the last pages of his drawing pad.

"... I'm sure that will work Ruth."

Caleb looked up from his copy of Excalibur, which was stuck in the stone. Bird and his grandma headed in his direction and talked.

"Caleb, we're ready. Let's go home."

The boy quickly put his things in his backpack and stepped out of the shop between Bird and Ruth. The fresh air was wonderful and he took a liberating breath as they headed for the car.

Ruth unlocked the front door and let Caleb enter. He struggled hard up the stairs to his room. Ruth stowed the purchases and looked after him with a sad look.

He had been with her almost two month now, but he still had a sadness that she couldn't take away from him. In her mind, the images from Caleb's first days in New Orleans rose again. He hardly spoke a word to her or anyone else. The only time she saw him cry, unless he had nightmares, was at the funeral. Ruth had the urn buried in New Orleans. Where else. Caleb could visit her at the grave if he found the courage to do so and maybe find some comfort if he had a place nearby where he could go to think of his parents. Ruth also needed this to speak to her Amelia. Even if she didn't hear it. There was peace of mind to tell her late daughter about Caleb.

She sighed and gave Caleb his freedom. He was still grieving and she wasn't sure if he would ever stop.

Caleb dropped his body to the bed exhausted and stared at the ceiling. He hated coming home like this. He wanted his mother to wait for him and ask him about his day, but she would never do that again, never again. Even his father would never construct models or fool around with him again. Tears rose in his eyes and threatened to betray him. No! He wouldn't cry. Grandma had cried enough for both of them. She thought he hadn't noticed, but every evening for the first few weeks Ruth lit a candle and cried for her daughter, who had been roughly snatched from her. She did what she could for him, he had to be strong for her. He has to function. Caleb sat up again and wiped his eyes and half-length black hair. The walls came closer and closer. Caleb had to go out into the air. His shoes still on his feet he grabbed his backpack again and hurried back down the stairs.

"I'm going out again Grandma, is that ok?"

"Yes darling, of course. But be there for dinner, ok?"

Ruth came into the hall and took her young grandson's face in her hands.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, I just want to get some fresh air."

He turned away from her grip and left the house. He felt a hole in his stomach. Hunger wasn't the reason, it almost stung. It looked like an escape from Ruth. He didn't want her to think he didn't love her. Because he did. It just hurt to look at her and to have clarity that his parents were gone - forever, that he had a new hometown here that just felt wrong. Caleb's feet automatically carried him to his "favorite place". No one would recognize the scribble he had painted for Cortney. No one would associate this place with it, but he had thought of it while painting.

It was just a small thicket that could be found everywhere. New Orleans was like a huge world riddled with rivers and swamps. For an almost seven year old, endlessly big but this was his thicket. He had gathered up old planks and plastic parts and poles and put on a little shelter. It was a little raised to the ground, as it was teeming with snakes and reptiles. But at school they were soon taught how the flora and fauna were in their "hometown". Here Caleb could breathe and look at the world, sharpen sticks and other mischief and also show his feelings without all adults feeling sorry for him. The sun went down behind the trees in dark orange. The color reminded him of tonight's dream. What did it mean? He did not know. Fuck! The sun went down! He should be home for dinner. He got up and ran to his grandmas house. It was not too far, in less than 10 minutes he was with Ruth, who was already looking worried at the stairs to the front door. She pulled him into a warm hug and he felt a little more like home.

TBC


	4. A Quilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas and Caleb has to face the holiday.  
> Also his birthday is around the corner and his grandma has a special present for him.

She looked for a second at the closed door through which Caleb had just fled. She would like to do more for him. But he just didn't want to talk about it. Frustrated, she went back to her little sewing room and unpacked. She still lacked the bias binding for the edge of the quilt. The patch layer was already finished, today she wanted to sew it on the lining and finish it. Her hands slipped over the patchwork. There were parts with forest patterns in many shades of green, red spots with yellow dots that had once been an Amelia blouse, blue checks and others that repeated themselves at some point. There was no coarse material, nothing rough. Only cuddly fabrics. Caleb should feel comfortable in it when he needs comfort. He had experienced enough roughness. The quilt should be a haven for him. Ruth started sewing the border and worked herbs into an inlay. There was lavender for a good night's sleep, St. John's wort for depression, anise for strengthening self-confidence and fighting fear, jasmine for solving difficult thoughts and rose petals for love. She worked hard to make everything perfect. Time went by and she didn't notice that it was getting dark. Until she looked at the clock and wondered how she could work so lost in thought that it was after six. Where was Caleb, he hadn't come back yet, had he?

She put the work aside and went to his room. It was empty. She would wait another 10 minutes until she have to search for him. But she already had a clue where her grandson went to rest.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Ruth had only waited a few minutes at the front door before she saw Caleb walking in her direction. Her heart jumped with relief. If something happened to him, she wouldn't know if she would survive. He was her whole family now and she loved him like she loved Amelia. She pulled him in a warm hug. He was very cold from the long stay outside. Even though the temperatures here almost never dropped below zero, it was cool outside.

"You're completely frozen."

She started rubbing his arms.

"Come on Caleb, I'll make you some tea."

"Thank you Grandma. I'm sorry I'm so late. I've completely forgotten the time. Do you still have the delicious tea with the cornflowers and daisies? "Caleb enjoyed the warm embrace of his Grandma.

"I guess so. Maybe I can also find a slice of cake, what do you think?"

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

December 25, 1978

Caleb woke up. He was a little surprised that he had slept through the night. It was only 4:30 a.m. but by his standards he had slept well. It was this orange-dark red dream again. Strange what it meant. Now he remembered what day it was today. It was Christmas morning! He had been as good as possible. He raced down the stairs as he was in boxers and a T-shirt. And burst into the living room.

Silence.

Nobody was there.

Caleb's stomach felt empty and cramped. He had wished that his mother would be with him again. He hadn't wanted anything else. What had he done wrong? He had even written a letter to Santa Claus. They had to do it at school anyway. The teacher had collected the letters and promised to send them. Did she forget? She couldn't do that. Disappointment spread through him. It grew until it hurt. He dropped to his knees and stopped moving. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he seemed to be aware of the inevitability of his situation. She would never be with him again. The two months had been terrible. His grandma tried hard, but she couldn't replace his mother.

Ruth looked sleepily at around 6 o'clock. It was Christmas morning. She would make Caleb scrambled eggs. He liked to eat that. Then he could unpack the few presents that were under the tree. Bird had bought him a pocket knife and Ruth had bought a drawing book and new pens. It was soon his birthday and he would get presents again. The elder woman put on her dressing gown and tied it up. She went down the stairs as quietly as possible so as not to wake Caleb. On her way to the kitchen, she went past the living room door and found it open. She always closed the doors to the hallways. She peeked in and almost missed the motionless black hair that crouched on the floor.

"Caleb?"

He didn't move. Ruth hurried into the room and knelt beside him and touched his shoulder. He had been crying. But he didn't seem to notice her at all.

"Caleb! What's up, say something!"

He blinked and looked infinitely sad in her face.

"She's not there ..." was all he whispered. His grandma didn't understand a word. Who did he mean? She touched his forehead, he was freezing cold.

"Caleb, how long have you been sitting here?"

"I don't know, I don't feel good Grandma."

"Come lie down on the sofa, I'll make you some tea."

She pushed him to the sofa and went to the closet to get her thick blanket that had one side with sheepskin. After Caleb was wrapped up in it, she went into the kitchen and filled the kettle with water to make tea.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The thermometer read 102.5 degrees Fahrenheit. Fever - for the holidays. Well, that was really a nice mess. Caleb hadn't really recovered from his action in the morning. Instead, the cold that had taken over his body gave way to the fever that followed. Bird had come over and was making calf wraps. Ruth didn't know what she would do without her friend. She was always there when she needed her. A real godsend.

"What do we do if it doesn't go down? We won't find a doctor to come today."

"Then we have to drive to the hospital for better or worse. But now be patient. Maybe the tincture will work and the calf wraps will help him a little. Children often have a higher fever than adults."

The two of them had brought the boy to bed at noon when the first signs of fever began to show. He hardly spoke a word either, but seemed to be completely absent.

Ruth closed Caleb's door with a concerned expression until it was only a crack open. The two women had returned to the kitchen for tea. Ruth looked emaciated. All of this didn't stop gnawing at her friend. Slightly dark circles slowly became visible around Ruth's eyes. Bird wondered how long her friend would have the strength to take care of Caleb's difficult mental state. Her lack of sleep was obvious. Ruth had told her about Caleb's nightmare episodes. He woke up screaming almost every night. He often slept in bed with Ruth. It was pretty exhausting.

"Bird, do you think Caleb thought Santa would bring Amelia back to him?"

"How do you come up with something like that?" Bird was pouring Ruth.

"He said earlier this morning that she wasn't there. I think he meant his mother."

"Who knows what's going on in children's heads? I could imagine it. He clings to every straw he can catch, I hope he doesn't get into any real trouble."

"I would, too, if I knew it would work. I would too."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

December 29, 1978

The fever had continued over the holidays. Since he was able to get clear thoughts again, he had been quieter than usual. Caleb drank his tea without actually being present. His grandma had baked a cake for him. He adorned the center of the table. The scent of the shortcrust pastry filled with cherry jam filled the whole room. He did not care. It wasn't important that he had a birthday either. His mother was not with him and that was all that mattered.

"Come on, take a piece of cake. You'll like it, I'm sure, or should I do something else for you?"

Ruth was finished with her Latin. It was clear to her that this birthday would not be particularly happy. He shook his head slightly in response.

"Do you want to unwrap your present?"

Caleb looked his grandma in the eye. She wanted him to be fine. He knew it. Maybe he should join in, that she didn't look so sad. Because she did. Sad and tired. He have to hide better how miserable he feel. No longer sick but just miserable.

He decided to play along and finally nodded.

Ruth went to the sideboard and got a large package that she put on the table. He got up and slowly opened the packaging.

It was the Quilt. Was it meant for him? He hadn't expected that, so his face actually showed something of a surprise. Bright colors from different squares shone towards him. He touched the fabric carefully. It was soft and cuddly to the touch. Every piece of cloth could tell a story. He didn't know all of them, but he knew a few things. A piece of mom's blouse, a prick in his heart. She had been wearing the blouse by the campfire that she had made in the back yard of Grandma last year when they were here with her for a few weeks. Unfortunately, a spark had fallen on it and burned a hole in it. She had left it at her mother's to sew something new out of it. Some squares were of Ruth's curtains which were hanging in the kitchen a year ago. They had been printed with blue coffee grinders and orange ornaments. Others checkered from shirts of his grandpa that he had never known. He reached into the box and lifted the blanket out. It was not very heavy and just felt good.

"And, do you like it?"

Caleb didn't answer right away, but Ruth could read his expression well. He liked the Quilt. Ruth was happy with her choice. The little spark of interest in something on his face was reward enough for Ruth. He didn't have to say anything.

"Thank you Grandma -"

He couldn't produce more. He took the blanket and went over to the sofa and wrapped himself in his gift. A fragrance of herbs surrounded him. He felt soft and warm in the blanket. The feeling reminded him of something. What was it? He couldn't get a hold of what it was like wispy clouds trying to reach for it. He closed his eyes and tried to remember.

Ruth watched Caleb fall asleep on the sofa wrapped in the Quilt. The even breaths told from a dreamless sleep. Satisfied, she cut off a piece of cake.

"Happy Birthday Caleb..." she whispered.

Jan. 24, 1979 - New Orleans

Caleb found himself in this orange dream again. He was somehow more intense today. It was warm as usual, but cramped and oppressive. He felt like he had the urge to fight his way out of this confinement. He rolled restlessly in his bed. The pressure in his head grew as he gasped out of bed. His head ached; he pressed his hand on the bridge of his nose to build up back pressure and breathed in cool night air. There was a feeling like a firefly to which he was drawn to. A spark of hope in a dark world. He couldn't define it further, but he knew it was meant for him and he would find it. The boy sat on the bed for a while, then pulled the Quilt from Ruth over himself again, took a deep breath of the pleasant scent of the herbs and went back to sleep relieved.

... at the same time in Lawrance Kansas

John was trembling, Mary was more beautiful than ever. She smiled blissfully and held out his son to him.

"May I introduce Dean Matthew Winchester."

John came closer to take the baby from her.

"Isn't he perfect?"

He hugged the tiny bundle that was wrapped in the colorful blanket that Mary had sewn and was afraid of breaking something, but the little baby in his arms opened his eyes and looked at him in a way which immediately captivated him. He would protect this little life with everything he had. John was sure of that.

"Hi Dean, I'm your daddy!" John whispered proudly and with tears in his eyes.

TBC


	5. The Colt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruth has a meeting with Daniel Elkins. He gets very important news.

After the holidays and Caleb's birthday, Ruth had finally found the time to go back to her research. So she opened her notebook and picked up the card with Elkin's name that Cilia had given her.

Caleb slept soundly. Ruth had made sure of it before she picked up the phone and dialed the phone number on the index card on the dial.

"Elkins" answered a rugged male voice at the other end after three ringtones.

"Hello, this is Ruth Chaille speaking. I got your phone number from a Wyoming librarian. I heard you know a lot about Samuel Colt. "

There was a short silence; Ruth already thought she had said something wrong.

"Samuel Colt, yes why are you interested in him?"

"I hope you can help me. I do genealogy research and I'm kind of stuck there. The last clue I followed was Samuel Colt. Would you be interested in talking to me about it? "

"Do you think you are related to him?"

"No, that's not, it's a bit difficult to explain. A Cole Tanner is registered as the Godfather of an ancestor of my grandson and I came across the name of Colt through him."

"Hmm, understand, yes, I would be interested in meeting you, where do you live, it really sounds a bit more complicated."

"In New Orleans. I suggest we meet in front of the city library." She thought for a moment that it would be good if Caleb was in school at this time and considered on the calendar when it would be cheap. "Friday January 26th in the morning around 10, would that be possible?"

"Wait a minute, I have a look at my calendar."

She could hear the page turning.

"Yes well that can be done. I bring my notes with me and I suggest you too."

"Thank you for bothering. See you."

"See you."

Ruth put the phone back on the station, somewhat confused. It was surprisingly easy. She thought she should have given more explanations. But now she just hoped to get more clues about the Reaves' strange family history and maybe a clue of what might have happened in the beach house.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Jan. 26, 1979 - New Orleans City Library

Daniel Elkins parked his truck on the side of the road and applied the handbrake. He reached for his bag and checked the contents again. He had packed his diary and his collected records of Samuel Colt as well as that of Cole Tanner. He also had holy water, coffee (of course mixed with holy water) and rock salt. He closed the flap of the worn leather bag, opened the glove compartment and checked his handgun for readiness for fire and slipped it into the holster he was wearing under the leather jacket. He looked briefly in the mirror. A small medallion flashes around his neck to protect him from demons. He didn't know what to prepare for, but someone calling him and saying something about Cole Tanner and Samuel Colt in the same sentence rang his alarm bells. He got out of the truck and adjusted his jacket.

An older woman stood on the steps of the library, she once must have black hair, but now more gray than black strands ran through her hair. A large yellow flowered bag was tucked under her arm and she looked waiting. That had to be Ruth Chaille. He went up to her. His direct movement had caught her attention and she looked into his eyes. When he was only two meters away from her, she started the conversation.

"Are you Daniel Elkins?"

"Yes, that's right, and then you have to be Ruth Chaille, right?"

"Exactly. Nice to meet you. How about we talk in there, I know the librarian, we can go in a separate room and spread out our documents."

"Sounds like you thought of everything. Please, after you."

Ruth turned on the heel and Daniel followed her with the watchful eye of a brotherhood knight. They crossed the library reading room and headed for the counter. Behind it was a 40-year-old pretty blonde who greeted Ruth happily and then looked curiously at Daniel.

"Hi Ruth, Mr. Elkins I assume."

She nodded in his direction.

"You can go in the backroom, come with me."

She asked them to follow her. They went through a small hallway into a kind of private office in which there was no wall without a bookshelf. Shelves had even been adjusted around the window. In the middle there were 3 tables pushed together and completely empty. Actually the perfect place for research, Daniel thought with a smile on his lips. He put his bag on the table but left his jacket on. It was a bit cooler in the room anyway, so it wouldn't attract much attention. Ruth also put her flowered bag on a chair at the tables.

"Please take a seat, Mr. Elkins," said Ruth, making herself comfortable.

Daniel nodded curtly and sat down.

"Well then let's see what kind of family tree you have so far. I've also done genealogy before."

Ruth spread out her documents in front of him and he started studying the papers. When he read the names he noticed a few of them as familiar - Cecily Reaves and Thomas Reaves. Something rang there. He had heard the names before, right? Maybe read? He opened his bag. Would you like a coffee Mrs. Chaille? I always have some with me. It seems to me that it will take some time until we have worked our way through. Maybe there are a few cups here? "

"It's a good idea, I'll get a few quickly." Ruth went out to appear again with two cups and milk after a minute. Just enough time to take out his notebook and write out the names that had caught his attention. He would check that out later. He closed his book again and packed it away. He put Colt and Tanner's files on the table when Ruth returned to the room.

"Here please, do you want milk with it?"

"No, I always drink it black, thanks."

Elkins poured them both and pushed a cup towards Ruth. She added milk and thankfully took a sip. The night had been bad. Caleb had woken up again screaming and could only calm down when he was in bed with her.

"The coffee is good. Thank you."

Elkins, who had been watching her closely, relaxed after he was certain that she was not possessed. Otherwise the holy water would have had an effect.

He bend back over her family tree and let her tell what she had so far.

"... and I didn't get anyfurther here. The only thing registered in addition to Thomas Reaves was the name of the godfather, Cole Tanner from Sunrise Wyoming. This name in turn was mentioned in the obituary by Mr. Colt. Here, I have a copy of it. Maybe you can tell me who the brotherhood grieving for him is? "

She put a sheet of Samuel Colt's obituary on the table. Daniel picked up the copy. He knew the text. It was stupid of Samuel Colt to use these words. He probably hadn't expected everything to be documented in the future and posterity would ask which brotherhood was mentioned here. But be it, who comes across such an old newspaper article. Apparently an old lady doing genealogy.

"I researched Samuel Colt because he was an inventor. I am an antique dealer. He made interesting weapons and I'm looking for one of them. He also lived in Sunrise and apparently the two were members of a brotherhood after this obituary."

Ruth was estonished, he looked more like he was going to start a fight in the next pub than hoarding old stuff to sell it.

"Have you heard something about so called hunters, Mr. Elkins? A little bird chirped me that it might be a secret brotherhood of hunters."

Daniel was amazed, this woman was as ingenious as a scholar.

"So you already have a guess?"

He opened his folder over Samuel Colt. Ruth watched him and tried to receive something from him psychical. Scraps of image twitched before her eyes. Elkins, as he checked his bag of holy water in his truck, a weapon. She blinked. Her gift was not very strong, but if she focused on one person, she could see what was left of the last minutes in his head. It's like reading short-term memory.

"You are one too!"

"What do you mean?"

"You are a hunter of the supernatural. I'm aware of the supernatural. I sell witch bags and herbal blends and sometimes have visions and I know what you have in your bag and carry under your jacket."

Daniel looked at her startled. Her eyes fell on a photo that was placed in the lid of the folder. Shocked by his exposure, Elkins had forgotten to go on. It showed the Colt the police had shown her. She was sure it was the same.

"May I see that briefly?" She pointed to the photo.

Elkins looked at her irritated but then pulled it out.

"This is the Colt I'm looking for, do you recognize it?"

Ruth took the photo but had her hands out of control. She was trembling and all the color left her face. That was it, the weapon Isaac had shot himself in front of his son's eyes.

"Mrs. Chaille, are you all right?"

Daniel was ready to catch her, if she would faint before his eyes.

She blinked several times and her eyes filled with tears. Whatever it was, she knew something about the Colt. Incomprehensible!

"Thanks, it's okay. I think I can tell you where to find it. "

If she could really lead him to Samuel Colt's wonder-Colt, she deserved the truth.

"You are right, I am a hunter. Where's the colt. It is important that it does not fall into the wrong hands."

It's said the Colt could kill everything even demons. If the brotherhood had such a weapon… But he didn't tell her this detail.

Ruth told Elkins about the whole misfortune in the beach house, her vision, the sulfur and where the Colt was now.

"I am very sorry for what you and your grandson went through. So you think Isaac was obsessed by a demon?"

"I can't explain otherwise why he should do something to Amelia. The sulfur residue in the house supports my assumption."

"I'll take care of the Colt. In return, I will tell you what I know about Cole Tanner and Samuel Colt. They were both hunters like me and members of the Brotherhood. I think the missing link in your research will be Noah Seaver. I assume Lily Reaves has changed her name. Her original name was Seaver and her husband Noah was possessed by a demon, he was a priest and burned his church with the parishioners in it. His wife Lily and their child Thomas survived. Noah was then hanged. Cole had a close relationship with Lily, so I think that is why he is mentioned as the godfather. In the past, infants were baptized just a few days after birth. I guess Noah himself baptized his child before he went nuts and burned the church down. See here, this is not an original document of the certificate of baptism. The church register of Sunrise probably went up in flames with the church."

"You don't think Isaac had anything to do with the same demon who took possession of Noah Seaver, do you?"

Daniel stroked the three-day beard thoughtfully.

"I don't know either, the track is already too old on the beach house. I will contact you if I have any news. I understand that you need certainty about what happened to your daughter. "

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Daniel slammed the door of his truck and exhaled. Everytime amazed, how a conversation could turn. He shook his head slightly amused. This Ruth was really smart. She had given him important new insights into the whereabouts of the Colt. He stroked his face with his hand. But after the story she had told him, he had to keep an eye on her grandson, if his guess was correct, Noah Seaver was not Caleb's ancestor but the demon he had summoned.

TBC


	6. The Ghost in the Shell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Caleb thinks he can go on in his life and start new in New Orleans. His Grandma is at his side and keeps him from falling apart. But nothing is granted.

New Orleans - September 1982

Caleb struggled through the school corridors to his classroom. A loud murmur filled the hallways from the many talking of the students. He had finally managed to get to his closet and pull his books out of the locker. He didn't have much time in the second break, but now he was looking forward to the art class. Lost in thought, he turned to his classroom when he suddenly collided with a girl. They landed on the floor, their books mingling in a wild pile.

"Oh, please excuse me! I was completely in my mind. ", She started to apologize.

"No problem, I wasn't paying attention either." Caleb helped her gather the books.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he got up and held out his hand to help her up.

"Yeah, nothing happens." She looked into his eyes for a moment and a smile flickered over her lips.

"Don't we know each other? We had English together in the second grade, that was with Mrs. Hendrikson, wasn't it? You are Caleb."

His stomach area suddenly became very hot. She knows his name! Holy crap, why did she know his name, that couldn't mean anything good, he had been terribly bad in English in second grade, he had to read aloud all the time. He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed.

"Yes, that's right Caleb Reaves." He held out his hand to her.

"I'm Penelope Hudson." She took his hand and there was brief silence, time seemed to stand still and all the noises around them were forgotten. But then the moment was over. Embarrassed, she took her hand back, smiled and ran on without a word and disappeared into the girls' washroom. Caleb looked after her and watched her wild curls dance as she walked. He grinned without realizing it, as he continued to search his way through the crowds. The bell rang, which meant that everyone had to go back to the classrooms. In the new school year they had some new courses like the art class.

He sat in the back row and looked curiously who his still unknown classmates were. At least he knew most of them by sight. Cody Turner was already in the back row. Cody didn't have many friends, he was a bit strange and a calm person, but he had never let Caleb down. Often enough he had covered his late arrival for class by waiting the teacher in the hallway and bombarding him with the strangest questions. They often spent their breaks together. Ronda had joined them lately. She almost always wore her black locks in Rastas, tightly braided around her head. Caleb was almost certain that Cody was into her, because he had also seen that stupid grin that returned to Caleb's face when he saw Penelope come into the room. She gave him a short smile. He thought of their previous encounter. He watched her as she headed for a row in front of him. Her red hair was tied in a cheeky ponytail and despite the small freckles, her skin looked as soft as a rose ... Caleb shook himself briefly ... what was he thinking as soft as a rose? What the hell had gotten into him? How could he think such a bullshit. He took out his pad and started drawing with pencil to distract himself and slow his heartrate to normal.

Not much had happened in the past few years, and Caleb had settled in well here. He did what was asked of him and tried not to attract attention. So the adults didn't keep asking their pesky question if everything was okay. What stupid shit, of course not! Nobody would ever be able to bring his parents back and therefore it would never be okay again. The only adult who knew how his mental state really was, was his grandma.

He looked briefly at his painting. He had drawn strands of Penny's red hair that he could see from behind. Mr. Trabant entered the classroom. He closed his pad. He often drew while letting his mind wander, but he didn't like when someone saw what he had subconsciously drawn.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Finally the school bell rang and Caleb grabbed his backpack to be able to leave the school premises for today. He was already walking across the lawn that ended in the sidewalk when he heard his name.

"Caleb! Wait!"

He turned and saw Penelope running across the lawn towards him. There it was again the hot feeling in his stomach.

"You left your pad." She said out of breath from running.

"Oh - thank you." Caleb couldn't find any more words. Everything he could think of seemed stupid to him.

"I like your style of drawing, even if there are some strange things in there. Sorry, I looked for a name and opened it to make sure it's yours."

Shit, she had looked at his sketches, not good. Not good at all. Caleb thought of the dragons he had drawn and the black pictures with the creepy eyes, and her strands of hair. She would definitely never talk to him again. That was so terribly embarrassing. The heat left his stomach and rose to his face.

"It's just for me, nobody should actually see it. I-"

"It's okay, I can be as silent as a grave. You're going in the same direction as me, mind if I accompany you? "A delicate vanilla smell surrounded her.

"Um, no not at all." He quickly stowed the pad in his backpack and they walked next to each other in silence for a while.

"Have you heard we're going on a excursion? It should have something to do with the art project. I'm curious where it's going. "

"An excursion? I didn't notice, is there anything to choose from? "

"Mr. Trabant said he's going to the beach or we're going to the Art Gallery. Did you sleep in the class?"

The word beach didn't mean a good thing to him. They went on together.

"So where would you rather go? I would be for the Art Gallery."

Caleb didn't want to somewhere near the water or beach.

"I do not really care. I like them both. He wants to vote."

Caleb fell silent. Just not to the beach. A rushing noise became more and more penetrating in his head. But Penny chattered on and took care of other thoughts, which gladly brought him back to this world.

"… Ketty always thinks that would be stupid, but I think she shouldn't just generalize that. - Caleb? Everything OK?"

"Huh? Yes, okay, I just have a headache. Why are you stopping?"

"We are at your house."

"Oh, yeah right." Caleb scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. "I didn't notice, well then, see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, if you want we can meet here tomorrow at 7:30 am and walk together. What do you think?"

"Sounds good." Caleb stood in front of Penny a few moments too long for it to be normal and lost himself in her red locks.

"Ok, see you tomorrow." She turned and continued down the street. From then on they headed to school and home together every day.

They got along really well, Penny liked to paint too, and she was really good. They showed their works of art and technical implements about the right pencil technique or which pens would be better. He had already noticed that she had a big brother. Jason.

He knew who it was. Jason had a reputation in school. Not a good one, he liked to bully the weaker and strutted like a rooster through the hallways as if he were the fucking boss of the school. Everyone avoided him. But Caleb didn't care who her brother was. He liked Penny to hang out with her.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Late September 1982

Today they had Mr. Trabant their art teacher again for the last lesson.

"Well, then we would have a result. So we're going to the beach! For all of you who would have liked to have gone to the Art Gallery, why not stop by in private. You just have to see it if you live in New Orleans."

Mr. Trabant clapped his hands and looked into mostly happy faces.

"Don't forget to bring a note and a bucket with you, we'll want to catalog the shells too."

The bell rang and the class ended. All the students hurried to the exit. Caleb was still in his seat, slumping Mr. Trabant's announcement. Penelope had already packed her things and was waiting for him in the row in front of it.

"Hey, are you okay? Don't we want to go home?"

From his seat he looked up into Penny's green eyes.

"Sure, sorry, I was in thought."

They went up to Caleb's house. Caleb had had this in mind for a few days, now he gathered his courage and asked.

"Hey, do you have time this afternoon? I want to show you something."

"Yes, I think it works."

"Perfect, then I'll pick you up at 3 pm, ok?"

"Ok, so see you later." She turned and Caleb watched her go a few more moments.

It was half past one. He pulled a shoebox from under his bed. He had collected some things from Ruth that were left over from her witch bags, small stones that were the wrong size, feathers and he had carved small wooden cubes. He had put all of this together into a bracelet. He was satisfied with his work. He took it out and put it in his backpack. He also took a blanket and some water with him. Then he went into the kitchen, Ruth had baked muffins today. 4 of them went into a lunch box and into his backpack.

Penny was waiting behind the window and came out as soon as she saw Caleb.

"Hi, ready? I brought us something to eat. "

"Great, my mom isn't home from work anyway, only had sandwiches."

He reached out his hand with a smile and she put hers in his. Together they headed for the small grove in which Caleb had his hiding place. He had expanded it and made something like a small tree house out of it. The higher ground had been widened and there were now walls made of tin signs and wooden boards, all well camouflaged under the low-hanging willows. In total it was about 2x2 meters. He opened the veil of plants to Penny and led her inside. The amazement was written on her face.

"Wow, Caleb, this is so cool! Did you build everything yourself? "

He pulled the bracelet out of his backpack and took her hand to put it inside.

"Yes and that here too."

She looked into her hand. "Oh, that's beautiful! Will you put it on me? "

She held out her hand to him. With skillful fingers he tied it around her wrist. One strand long from her braid. He ran his hand behind her ear. There was a somewhat uncomfortable silence. Penny smiled.

"You said something about food?"

He grinned at her and unpacked the backpack. He spread the blanket on the floor. After they finished their little picnic, Penny took a closer look at the tree house.

"Why don't you want to go to the beach?"

His mood suddenly changed. He didn't want to think about it now. Why did she have to start?

"I just don't like the beach."

He said simply and hoped she would let the topic rest.

"I don't know anyone who doesn't like the beach, I mean that you don't like swimming, yes, but not even to the beach? I just wonder why you were so weird in the classroom when Mr. Trabant said where the trip was going. "Penny's green eyes met Caleb's amber ones. He looked away. If he could imagine telling anyone about it, it would be her. He took a deep breath.

"I used to live on the beach with my parents. I was six then."

It slowly flowed out of him. But he just couldn't say everything. So he stuck to the facts.

"They died there. Since then I hate the sea and the beach."

His eyes betrayed him and shimmered from the tears that welled up in him. He swallowed quickly and blinked away the telltale moisture. It took a moment before he could look at Penny again.

Penny didn't know what to say. She knew the pain of losing someone.

"I am sorry. I didn't know." She looked at the floor.

"My dad died in a car accident two years ago. I'm not saying that I know how you feel, I hate it when other people say that to you, but I think I can understand it a little."

He pulled her closer into his arms and they just enjoyed being around each other. The setting sun cast long shadows on the street as Caleb delivered Penny home.

"Are you coming tomorrow?"

"I don't know, I can't let you down, can I?"

"Right, not that I'm looking for someone else for the art project." She grinned boldly.

"I'll be there. See you tomorrow Penny."

Caleb took a movement in it. The curtain on the window pane had moved.

"See you then."

Penny went up the stairs and after one last look and smile at him, she disappeared through the door.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The yellow school bus stopped at the beach. The children got out happily and formed small groups of 4 children. Each group should search a corner of the beach for stones or seashells or other things they found. Later they wanted to create a folder with the results and make drawings of them.

Caleb thought he would make it, but as soon as he got out and smelled the salty sea air, his stomach almost turned. He hadn't slept well and kept getting startled from nightmares. Following Penelope, Ronda and Cody, who were in his group, he tried to ignore it. Penny kept giving him watchful looks. He was pale that had not escaped her and his eyes showed dark shadows. She hoped he would hold out and tried to distract him.

"Let's look over there."

She pointed to a corner facing away from the water and led the group to the rocks at the pier. Ronda and Cody had fun, they filled the bucket of the group on their own, Penny and Caleb sat down on the rocks.

"Shall we go back to the tree house this afternoon? I can make us sandwiches."

"Hm sounds good."

That was all Caleb managed to say. He fought the nausea until he couldn't anymore. He thought he was about to throw up, the seaweed, the seagulls, the sea air. Everything began to blur and become indistinct before his eyes. The noise was there again, it got louder and louder and everything went black.

"Caleb!"

Penny grabbed his arm as he pulled them both to the ground. Cody and Ronda looked up from their gathering and watched in horror as Caleb went down.

"Hey, Caleb say something. Cody quick, get Mr. Trabant! "Penny's voice trembled with concern. What should she do?

He blinked, and Caleb saw Mr. Trabant's blurry face.

"Mr. Reaves? Hey, thank god you're awake again."

Mr. Trabant held out a bottle of water. "Here you have a sip, you just passed out."

He tried to concentrate on the voice, but felt completely exhausted. The surroundings became clearer. Somehow he had ended up on the school bus again.

"Ms. Hudson said it would be better if we got you on the bus, it seems like a good idea. Are you okay again?"

Caleb looked to the side to see Ronda, Cody and Penny stand guard.

"Uh, yes, I think so, I hardly slept and didn't have breakfast. The sea air gave me the rest, I guess."

"That was not very wise of you, Mr. Reaves!" Scolded Mr. Trabant, half-jokingly.

"We'll be leaving soon anyway. I'll leave you in the care of Ms. Hudson and get the other groups together. Ms. Jackson, Mr. Turner, please help me to get the others."

Mr. Trabant got off the bus with the two students.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't such a good idea after all."

Caleb ran a hand over his forehead.

"Better to fall over than you find another crazy friend."

A crooked grin crossed Caleb's face and Penny had to laugh.

"Don't worry, I think you're not that bad."

She squeezed his hand and he relaxed as her vanilla scent enveloped him.

TBC


	7. The Art of Living

March 1983 - New Orleans School Grounds

The small window of the boiler room closed behind Jason, who slid elegantly onto the floor.

"Do you have the flashlight with you?" Seth handed him the lamp.

"Do you think I'm a bungler? This is not my first break-in."

The two searched for the staircase and found it quickly. The door was locked. Seth took a lock pick set from his jacket pocket and it only took seconds to pick the lock. The teenagers headed for the staff room and made their way to the filing cabinets.

"They're locked too, fuck! Open it."

"Calm down man, it's not all a drama. We just pack your work in and you say tomorrow you have already handed it in. That's a sure thing. I've faked my parents' signature 1000 times, nobody will ever notice that, trust me."

Seth didn't have a big challenge with this lock either. He went through the files.

"Shit, that's the wrong one, just student files."

"Really, is mine included? I'd love to have a look."

Jason pushed his buddy aside and went through the names, at "H" he took a closer look and pulled out the two files with Hudson on them. Seth had looked over his shoulder and curiously pulled the second file from Jason's hand. He was already busy with his own.

"Dude, your sister is really hot!"

"I won't let her hang out with freaking gangsters like you!"

Jason snatched Penelope's file from Seth's hand. And put them both back in the filing cabinet.

"As if you had something to say. Do you think this Reaves is better suited? She always hangs out with him on the way to school."

Jason raised an eyebrow.

"That can be found out."

He continued to go through the letters of the files until he came to "R".

"Ah, Reaves, there we have you." He opened the file.

"Born on December 29th, 1971, North Carolina bla bla, parents Amelia and Isaac Reaves - deceased, lives with his grandma ... he turned to the following pages. Holy shit!"

Jason had stopped reading and looked aghast at the text he was reading.

"What is it? Show me!"

Seth tore the file from Jasons hand and read the file himself.

"Freakin' shit, his father murdered his mother and then himself? What a psycho is killing his wife! Ok, he's definitely the bigger freak, you can't let Penny hang around with him!"

"No, I can't, you're absolutely right."

Jason took the file from Seth's hand and put it back.

"Let's get my work done and then get out of here. We'll take care of Reaves later."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

"What kind do you like?"

"Do they have pistachio? I love pistachio ice cream!"

Caleb looked through the display, yes pistachio was there. He will give it a try, too.

"Two pistachios please."

He pushed the money over the counter and took the two ice cream cones to hand one of them to Penny. The two teens continued to stroll down the sidewalk through downtown New Orleans.

"Hey, do we want to go to the Art Gallery? You would have rather gone there, right? Whoever lives in New Orleans should have seen them!"

She quoted Mr. Trabant and looked at Caleb with her beautiful green eyes. He just couldn't resist her.

"Ok, if you'd like."

He took her hand in his and they headed to the gallery.

As they reached the Arthur Roger Gallery. Caleb read the current exhibition.

"Inviting landscapes - different artists - March 12th - April 7th. I would have preferred structures."

They walked through the exhibition and gave each other their opinions on the pictures.

"Wow, look at this, it's like an oil painting by a 5 year old, why is this exhibited here? I can't even see a landscape in it."

Caleb had a different view of art than this before him.

"I liked the southern houses in the other corridor better."

He had found a couple of structure pictures in the other floor.

Penny had stopped in front of a dark blue and green picture while Caleb was still wondering about the other one. It showed a wild, mystical seascape. It was painted in oil and the waves lashed wildly against the rocks rising out of the middle of the sea. Penny's gaze slid to the artists name "Amelia Reaves". She was briefly confused why was the artist's last name the same as Calebs? Caleb was just strolling over to her when he froze. His mouth was suddenly completely dry. He knew the picture he was around when his mother had painted it. How could it hang here? A sting went through his heart and he went cold. But then he felt something warm in his hand.

Penelope had noticed his gaze. It was mirroring recognition and pain. He just stared at the picture and stopped moving. She cupped his hand.

"Hey, are you okay?" She whispered near him.

He found it difficult to take his eyes off the painting. But he made it because Penny grounded him. Now he looked into her gentle eyes. He could read the question in it. Do you know her? Who is Amelia Reaves? He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

"My mother painted it. She always painted seascapes. Until .." His voice broke.

"Caleb, I'm sorry, I didn't know this was hanging."

"It's okay, how should you." He turned his gaze back to the picture. It hurt to look at it and yet he couldn't look away. It was a connection to his mother, a memory, a good memory, his memory. He didn't know he could feel such a thing. But he knew that nobody else should actually see it.

"Would you prefer to go?" They had been standing in front of the picture for a while. She wasn't sure Caleb had heard her. But he responded and looked at her.

"Yes, let's go."

He sounded absent and sad.

They didn't talk much on the way home. Caleb escorted Penny to the front door. She stopped and looked at him.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

She was about to turn around to leave when Caleb took her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"That you are there for me." He smiled at her.

"See you tomorrow."

Penny watched him go. There were a bunch of butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Even so, a strange feeling remained. What happened to his parents? She thought it advisable to know the full story. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to react properly if something like this in the gallery happened again. She brushed a strand of red hair from her face and opened the front door.

"Where have you been forever? Mom will be home from work soon and I'm supposed to do everything by myself?"

Penny had barely entered the house when Jason approached her.

"No stress, it's still an hour until she is there. I also have a life, sorry!"

Jason was right in front of her with two great strides, glaring angrily down at her.

"Now listen little princess, I'm not the cleaning lady here, that's your job. What do you have to do with the psycho anyway, why does he just kiss you? Are you together now?"

"Are you spying on me? You are really an ass! Caleb is not a psycho, you don't know anything about him!"

"Well at least I know that it is better not to use vicious horses for breeding. It just comes back to something bad."

"Are you crazy now? What are you talking about anyway?"

"I don't think you know your Caleb as well as you think, or did you know that his father murdered his mother and then blew his head off?"

Penny's mouth stayed open, what had Jason said?

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's true, I read it in his school file!"

"How do you get his school file, what have you been up to now!"

"It doesn't matter here now, I don't want you to meet this freak again! Otherwise I'll tell mom!"

"If you say a word about it to Mom, I'll tell her that you somehow checked the student files, and you'll be kicked out of school!"

Penny ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door. She let herself fall on the bed and started crying. How could this beautiful day go so terribly wrong? Was it true what Jason said? She wanted to know what had happened to Caleb's parents, but now she wasn't so sure anymore.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Caleb took heavy steps up the wooden stairs to his room. Ruth noticed as he walked that something was wrong. She peeled off the blanket she had kept warm in the TV chair and followed her grandson into his room. She knocked gently on the door. A low murmur gave her permission to enter. Caleb was sprawled on the bed, his face buried in the crook of his arm.

"Hey, how was your day? What have you two done."

Ruth wondered what had gone wrong, Caleb had been happy to go into town with Penny. She liked the fact that he was related to someone his age. It had not escaped her that Caleb was pretty crazy about Penelope. But it was far from her to stand young innocent love in the way. On the contrary. She was happy for him.

The head of black hair rose from the bed and Caleb sorted his long legs until he was sitting cross-legged on the bed, he pressed a pillow to his stomach to hold something. He kept his eyes lowered and his gently wavy strands of hair covered his eyes.

"It was all right. We had ice cream and then went to the Art Gallery." He let that sink in for a moment, but Ruth didn't seem to know why his mood was so melancholy because of that.

"Do you know which picture is on display there?" Ruth still didn't understand anything.

"One of Mom's seascapes."

His voice had taken on a reproachful tone. She could hear the tremor in his voice.

"Oh, Caleb, I didn't know that. You have to know, Amelia kept in touch with the gallery. She may have sold one of her pictures there."

"Hmm however, I'm tired, I just want to sleep."

He turned and buried his face in his bed again. Ruth stroked his back in circles until he was breathing evenly. Her touch could always calm him down when he was upset.

TBC


	8. My Little Princess

_My little princess, you're the one and only girl_   
_I would give I would do everything for you_   
_My little princess, I would build a world for you_   
_Oh it's so nice, a children's paradise_

_Can find no words for what I feel_   
_This must be true love, this love must be real_   
_When I embrace you I touch the sky_   
_In our fairy tales you let me think that I can fly_   
_I want to live for you_

_Hold you_

_My little princess_

_(Axxis – My little princess)_

"Ow, damn it."

Caleb dropped the hammer and put his thumb in his mouth. He was expanding the tree house. One wall had already been removed and the floor expanded. Since meeting Penny here on a regular basis, he had decided to enlarge it. All he had to do yet, was to attach the boards to the extended walls. He paused and wiped the dark strands from his growing hair and emptied the last sip of his water bottle. God that was hot today! He should have brought more water.

"Hey Caleb!"

The boy exhaled in relief. Penny was just in time. Maybe she had more water with her. Penelope Hudson was no ordinary girl, at least not to Caleb. She was different from other girls. She loved raiding the woods alone with Caleb. They climbed trees and explored caves or draw and coloring in the tree house that Caleb had built. She always wanted to discover something new. It was never boring with her. Even the homework was fun with her.

"Crap! What the hell..."

Ah yes, and she could swear like he had never heard a girl swear before.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I got stuck on the fucking thorn bush. Anyway, I'm the only one who has to mend things at home. I think I can fix this fucking shirt again."

She examined the hole in her plaid shirt. Three fingers fit through. How she would fix this was a mystery to him.

"Wow, you've been busy. Looks really great!"

I brought you something to strengthen you. Take a break."

She went inside and took a coarsely woven tablecloth from her basket to spread it over the upturned box that served as their table. Caleb wiped his hands on his pants and sat down while his amber eyes followed Penny. She smiled when she noticed his gaze, but went on and set plates and sandwiches, put two glasses ready and filled them with ice tea.

Caleb was starving. He grabbed one of the sandwiches and took a bite.

"Oh god Penny this is so good. What do you always put in there?"

"Family secret. I'm happy if you like it."

"How did you get all of this stuff here, do you have to drag all the dishes home?"

"No, they are old things. My mom sorted it out and I can leave them here."

After they had ate, they worked with the boards together to build the new wall, which was much better than alone. After that, they retreated inward to rest. Penny was sitting on the floor on a blanket and Caleb had his head in her lap and was chewing on a blade of grass as she read from the book that Caleb had been assigned to give his English presentation. It was the King Arthur legend. He had already read the book. But he loved listening to Penny's voice. When she stopped reading, Caleb opened his eyes.

"I have to go to the library tomorrow. Do we want to meet there? Then you can choose a book that captivates you more. I thought you fell asleep."

"Hey, I haven't slept. I just like to listen to you. I also like the book."

"Well then it's all right. I'm not puffing my mouth for fun here. You're on a D in English. I'm trying to help you here after all."

"I know I really appreciate your help."

He turned and straightened to put his hands around her ribs and began to tickle her.

"Oh ... Caleb! Leave it!"

She giggled and wriggled from his attack and slid away a little. He left her alone and grinned cheekily. She loved that grin on him and the way it made his liquid gold eyes glow.

"What is tomorrow now, are you coming?"

"Your wish is my command my lady!"

He kissed the back of her hand and bowed his head.

"So I take your word for it, my noble knight."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The steps were cool. Strange that at the end of March it was so hot that you longed for anything cool. Caleb looked at the pattern on the sandstone. He had been too early and had been waiting for her in front of the library for 30 minutes. He looked at the clock. She was 10 minutes overdue. Usually she was always on time, not even being late for an appointment or to school. That is why Caleb tried to get here on time. He was getting restless. Looked up and down the street. She was nowhere to be seen. He started walking in the direction he assumed her to come from and searched the way for her.

Penelope had managed to do the dishes and hang the laundry. Just in time to get to the library. On the way she rummaged in her backpack for her library card, just as she triumphantly pulled it out of her backpack, her shoe got stuck on a crooked pavement and she fell. A searing pain spread across her knee.

"Fuck!"

She looked at her bloody knee. A shadow appeared over her.

"Well, young lady, can I help you up?"

A man had seen the action and helped Penny up. Her knee hurts like hell, she doubted she could use it.

"Thank you." She let herself be helped up.

"Oh, that doesn't look good. I have a first aid kit in the car, come with me, then I'll at least put a plaster on it for you. "She wanted to contradict, because she knew she shouldn't talk to strangers and certainly not get in their car.

But the man looked at her intensely and touched her shoulder. With his touch she felt dizzy. There was something strange about his eyes. She suddenly decided that she could trust the man and she didn't mind a band-aid either. So she limped with the man around the house in front of which she had fallen. It was a small cafe. They walked to the side street the man said his car was parked. As they turned into the alley, Penny was getting more and more dizzy. Where else was she going, wasn't there anything important. She had to ... where did she have to go? There was a man standing in front of her. Had she seen him before? Everything squirmed.

"Come sit down, I'll take care of you."

The man pushed Penny onto a wooden box that was under a dilapidated house. She thought nothing of it, was just glad not to have to stand anymore. He put his hand on her thigh and pushed her skirt up until her bloody knee was exposed. Everything blurred in front of her. The man bent to her knee and licked the blood off. She couldn't think clearly. A hot pain shot through her leg. She felt long cold fingers closing around her neck.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Caleb got a headache. Where was Penny. The pain distracted him. He had to hold on to a lantern until it became more bearable. The owner of the cafe looked at him suspiciously, but then went on to serve his customers. Caleb leaned forward against the lantern and stared at the sidewalk. There was a blood stain and next to it was a library card. He picked it up, turned it over. Penelope Hudson stood on it. Now he looked around in panic! In all four directions. There was nothing to be seen down and up the street. Block after block ran across the street. Finally he looked into the alley that branched off here. His gut feeling told him that he would find Penny there.

The adrenaline drove away his headache and he pushed off the lantern into the little alley. The tall houses to the right and left largely drowned out the daylight. The noises from the street soon faded away. He had walked about 30 meters around various garbage cans and boxes when he saw Penny sitting on a box. A man knelt in front of her and put his hand around her neck.

"Hey! Get your fucking hands off her!"

Caleb ran and pulled his pocket knife out of his denim jacket and was glad it was one that could be opened with one hand. The blade clicked into place.

The guy looked up and let go of Penny, who slid lifelessly onto the floor. He made a hissing noise. His eyes looked maliciously at Caleb. Nobody lays a hand on his girlfriend. He threw himself forward to attack the guy and try to stab him knife in hand. The guy turned easily to the side and Caleb stumbled forward. The boy spun around, still clutching the knife ready to fight. The guy blocked the new attack with his arm and the knife cut deep into his thin shirt. Blood oozed from the cut. No, it wasn't blood, it looked rather black. What was that. The wound hissed and the man held his arm and made a creepy noise, turned and ran out of the alley. Caleb stared after him in shock.

Penny groaned slightly and pulled Caleb out of his freeze. He got up and hurried to his girlfriend. Carefully he took her hand and helped her sit up. He leaned his girl gently against the box from which she had slipped.

"Hey Penny, are you with me? What the hell happened? Can you breathe?"

"Ahhrg, Caleb? What's going on, where are we?"

"I was looking for you and there was this guy who threatened you, you are bleeding!"

He had noticed her bleeding knee.

"Guy? I feel dizzy." She tried to get up, but her knee gave way and Caleb quickly propped her up to keep her from falling.

"Take it easy, I got you. I'll take you home, okay?"

She just nodded in agreement and leaned heavily on Caleb. It took them almost twice as long as usual. Half an hour later they arrived at Penny's house. Caleb took her to the living room sofa.

"Do you have bandages somewhere?"

"Kitchen ... sink." Penny was no longer dizzy, but her throat hurt and she was still not full aware. Caleb returned from the kitchen with the first aid kit in hand. He bandaged her knee. The abrasion looked strange on the edges. He put a pad on it and bandaged it. He was glad Bird had shown him how to put bandages on. He wanted to look her in the eye. On the way there, however, his gaze caught on her neck, where three dark spots were visible. He felt guilty. If only he had gone looking for Penny earlier.

The door opened. Jason dropped his backpack in the corner by the door and stared at the scene in front of him. Reaves bent over Penny, who was lying on the sofa.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Caleb jumped up startled, ready to defend Penny against anything and found himself standing in front of her brother Jason. He could look him in the eye, even though Jason was 4 years older, he wasn't too tall. Jason looked at Penny and saw the marks on her neck. He roughly grabbed Caleb by the jacket and pushed him to the door.

"Get the fuck outa here you psycho, what did you do to my sister?"

Caleb raised his hands soothingly,

"Take it easy man, I didn't do anything."

But then Jason gave him a push out the front door.

"I never want to see you around her again, you freak! Get out of here before you regret it!"

Jason slammed the door behind the sick freak and turned to his sister.

"Penny, what's wrong with you?"

Jason was quick to see his sister, who just looked at him confused.

"Jason? What's happening? Did someone shout?"

"Penny, what did Reaves do to you? Did he give you something? He did this, didn't he?"

He pointed to her neck.

"W-what?" She grabbed her neck and winced. It hurts. She closed her eyes.

"Penny, wake up!"

Jason shook his sister. Which opened her eyes again.

"Huh?"

"Was that Reaves, did he hurt you?"

"I don't know, no, he would never do that."

"I told you not to hang around with him. That's what you get now, who knows what he would have done to you if I hadn't come home!"

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The door slammed roughly in front of Caleb. He didn't even know what was happening to him. He hesitated, but then turned around, swearing under his breath, and went home. Jason wouldn't hurt his sister. She was at home and apart from being a little confused, she wasn't missing anything serious. He kept telling himself that. He barely noticed how he had come into his room, took his key out of his pocket and his knife and Penny's library card and slammed everything on his desk. What the fuck had happened in the alley, had he imagined it? Maybe the guy just got scared because Caleb cut him with the knife and then fled, yes so it must have been. He let himself fall on the bed and darkened his aching eyes with his arm.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Penny didn't come to school for the next three days and Caleb didn't dare to visit her. Her brother had been pretty clear, but he needed to know what was going on. His grandma probably knew something. She always knew the latest gossip. When he got home he went straight into the kitchen and kissed Ruth on the cheek, as he always did when he got home.

"Hey Grandma, how are you?"

"Fine, why do you ask?"

"Oh, do you know what Penelope Hudson's got, she hasn't been to school for three days."

"Isn't that the pretty little redhead you walk to school and home with every morning and afternoon?" Ruth grinned knowingly.

"Grandma!" Caleb looked slightly shocked at his grandma. She really saw everything.

"What? Why don't you visit her? She's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

Caleb hemmed and hawed. "Well yeah, something like that, you know her brother, he's a pretty bad guy at school and we kind of got into each other ..."

"Hm, I see. I'll ask Bird later, if anyone knows she will. People often come to her because of some ailments."

"Thanks Grandma, you are the best!"

Caleb quickly stole a few pieces of pepper from the vegetables Ruth was about to put in the pan, for which he received a stern look that turned into a smile as soon as he looked at Ruth with his innocent look.

"Caleb come down, dinner is ready!"

Ruth had been at Bird an hour ago to ask about Penelope and had heard a lot. Both about Penelope and other news. Bird had told Ruth that she wanted to move back to New York, one of Bird's uncle had died a few months ago and had left her a small apartment near Chianatown. Ruth wasn't happy about it, but she knew her friend would have always wanted to go back to New York. With this opportunity now presented to her, she understood her decision.

Caleb was about to arrive, he was hungry. Ruth let him finish his meal until she got the conversation straight to the point.

"I was with Bird earlier. Jason was with her today and wanted something against a fever. He said his sister is not doing well. He said it was your fault? Do you want to say anything about that?"

Caleb felt as if the carpet was being pulled from under his feet. He stared at Ruth, speechless.

"I see, you see it differently. Then just tell me what happened. Perhaps then we can say more precisely what Penelope would do well."

He swallowed. If there was anyone he could tell what happened, it was his grandma. She was always there for him and was always on his side.

"We had an appointment at the library, Penny was late ..."

He told Ruth everything that had happened, including that he saw the guy had black blood and made strange noises. Then he looked miserably at her face.

"Oh honey, you know you can always tell me everything. Were you hurt too?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm just worried about Penny."

"She'll be well soon, and her brother will be fine if Penelope can tell him everything. He just misinterpreted it."

She took Caleb's cheek in her hand and smiled at him. Go to sleep now, you have to get up early tomorrow. I'll go over to Mrs. Hudson and clear up the matter with her."

"Thanks Grandma. Good night." He left the kitchen and didn't feel quite so miserable anymore.

Ruth had a vague idea what could help Penny and had packed a few things. She didn't know how Mrs. Hudson would react to that. She slowly climbed the steps to the Hudson's house and rang the bell. A blond woman with messy hair in a waitress uniform opened the door. She looked stressed.

"Yes, please?"

"Good evening, I'm Ruth Chaille, we live up the street and around the corner. My grandson Caleb is friends with Penelope. I've heard she is ill. I want to offer my help. Do we want to continue talking inside?"

"Uh, Penny is having a fever. I don't know if it's contagious."

"I don't mind, maybe I can help you?"

Mrs. Hudson opened the door wider and let Ruth in.

"How is she doing? Caleb said she hasn't been to school for three days."

"Yeah, I got home late from work and Jason said something about Caleb being here and Penny having a fever. I don't know any more details. But the fever wouldn't fall. I've already sent him to Ms. Isbell. She gave him tea for the fever, but that has not helped so far."

"May I see Penelope?"

"Yes, of course, if you want. I take whatever help I can get. If it doesn't get better, we have to get a doctor."

Mrs. Hudson led Ruth into an adjoining room. It was Penny's, obviously. All sorts of posters hung on the walls and it was generally tidy. Wooden floor was laid throughout the room. The furniture was white. Penny collected horses. A number of them were neatly lined up on a shelf. In heavy contrast to the tidy room was the sight the girl was showing. Obviously still feverish she moved in a restless sleep. Ruth sat on the edge of the bed and felt her forehead. Not alarmingly high but not low enough for normal, she thought to herself. She looked at her neck. If you knew what to look for, you could still make out the three prints Caleb had spoken of. She folded the covers aside and looked at Penny's knees.

"Have you changed the bandage?"

"I ... no, I had completely forgotten."

Ruth unwrapped the bandage and looked at the abrasion. It festered and looked inflamed.

"I have an ointment with me. Is it okay if I apply it? Then it will heal better. You should leave it on the air."

Penelope's mother nodded. Ruth took a jar of ointment from her basket. She wasn't completely sure, but it couldn't hurt. She also took out a copper bowl and placed it on a cork coaster. The rootworker took a mortar and ground a bundle of herbs in the bowl and lit everything. It smoked, the scent was pleasant. Then she poured some holy water from an inconspicuous bottle to extinguish everything. At last she took some ointment from the jar and mixed everything thoroughly. Ruth conjured up another cream jar from her basket and poured everything into the empty vessel. She rubbed the new ointment on Penelope's knee, it hissed slightly. That was enough proof for Ruth. It was an evil creature they met in the alley. Fortunately it had fled. She didn't regret sanctify Caleb's pocket knife.

"Here, put it on her knee in the morning and evening until it's empty. Don't worry, she will be up again soon. Tomorrow the fever should be gone. Otherwise you will have to see a doctor. You can give her the tea from Bird to support her regeneration."

Mrs. Hudson took the cream from Ruth.

"Thank you, Mrs. Chaille. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing my dear, I don't like to see my grandson unhappy. If Penelope walks to school with him again, he will be happy and that will be reward enough for me."

Ruth got up and packed her things. On the way out, Jason stood in the hallway and watched her grimly.

How could his mother let the psychos witch grandmother touch Penny. The elder woman stopped before him.

"Ah, you must be Jason. Caleb only brought Penelope home after she fell. You misunderstood something when you got home, he would never harm anyone."

Ruth's engaging manner took the wind out of Jason's sails. He couldn't say anything more and just nodded goodbye.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

On Monday, Caleb stood hopefully on the doorstep, waiting as he had done every day since Penny was sick. He waited as long as he could and had not made it to school on time three times. But today she came around the corner again. His heart leapt. He wasn't sure what to say to her. He chose something innocuous.

"Hi Penny, you okay?"

She beamed at him.

"Hi Caleb. Yes, I'm fine again, thanks to your grandma, I guess. My knee doesn't hurt anymore either. I guess I caught some virus and fell in town. After that I don't really know what happened, only that you brought me home."

"Oh, you haven't missed much either. It was like that. Except that your brother came home and sat me on fresh air. For some reason he doesn't like me."

"Don't worry, Jason is always stressed with someone. But please be careful. He and his buddies are not to be trifled with."

"Don't worry about me. Come on, let's go, otherwise I'll get detention today if I'm late again."

He grinned broadly at her and took her hand and they set off.

How could it have turned out otherwise? Caleb got detention and Penny had to go home without him. She had promised to let his grandma know that he would be home later. She took the opportunity to thank Mrs. Chaille. She was a bit unsure when she rang the bell.

"Oh hi, Penelope, right? You're fine again as I can see. That pleases me. Come in, honey."

All excitement was gone with such a warm welcome.

"Thank you Mrs. Chaille."

"Oh, just call me Ruth, I don't like being that old."

She giggled a little because she would soon be 70.

"Why didn't Caleb come home with you?"

"He got detention because we were late for school this morning. It's a bit my fault."

"Don't worry, a little more writing doesn't hurt him. Do you want to have a muffin? I just made them fresh."

Penny and Ruth sat at the table and ate strawberry-filled muffins.

"Mmmh, they're delicious."

Penelope just finished eating her last piece and took another sip of cocoa.

"I just wanted to say thank you for looking after me when I was sick. I'm sorry that Caleb is now having trouble with my brother because of me."

"Oh, the boys will work that out among themselves. I'm glad he has you to talk to. I had long wanted him to share more interests with his peers."

"May I ask you something personal?"

"Of course dear."

"What exactly happened to his parents? He just said they are both dead?"

"Well that stays between us I only tell you because you are real close with my grandson. I don't want you to tell Caleb that I told you."

Penny nodded slightly.

"When he was six he saw his mother murdered by his father and then shot himself. He was alone with their bodies until the emergency staff was there. A part of him died there with them. It was difficult to rebuild something like a relationship with him afterwards."

She moved her hand to her mouth in schock.

"Oh God! That's terrible. I am very sorry about that. I didn't know…"

"It's okay sweety, it's been almost 6 years now. I can talk about it now. It's still a sore point with Caleb."

Both were silent for a while.

"Well, you'd better go home now. Otherwise we'll still have a tee party when Caleb arrives."

Ruth grinned in amusement and Penelope helped clear the table before she said goodbye.

"It was nice to talk to you Ruth. See you soon."

"See you soon Penelope."

TBC


	9. Cut

The last days of the Easter vacation brought stifling heat. Tomorrow was school again. Caleb helped Ruth make the garden, it had been too hot for her all week and she couldn't work in the garden. That's why Caleb did it for her. It gave him other thoughts too, because he had been plagued by nightmares for days. Ruth was always there when he woke up screaming and hugged him. Even if he felt like a toddler, he could put all guards down with her. She hugged him close to her heart and he listened to the steady beat. She stayed that way until he calmed down again.

"Caleb, it will be too hot in the midday sun, go to the tree house with Penny and take some muffins with you. I am sure she would be happy."

"I don't wanna let you down. You still need help here."

"Oh, you can finish the rest tomorrow after school."

"But only if it's really okay for you."

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and greedily drank the glass of ice tea that Ruth held out to him.

After a shower he packed the muffins and ran to Penny's house. She was in the garden hanging up laundry.

"Hi Penny!"

She turned and beamed at him when he got to the clothesline.

"Hi, what are you doing here, I thought you were helping in the garden."

"We broke up for today. It's just too hot, but unfortunately, I see you can't come with me and I have to eat all the great things my grandma packed for me on my own because you still have work. He grinned mischievously at her.

"Ha ha very funny. I need another hour. Then I'll come, ok?"

"Should I help you?"

"No better not, my brother is here."

"Ok, I'll wait for you then."

"Ok. Spare me one if Ruth has made these heavenly muffins."

Penny smiled and her freckles danced. Caleb smiled back at her and turned to go.

Jason let the curtain fall. The freak had a nerve showing up here. He went out the back door and followed at a distance until he found where Caleb was hiding. But he wanted to be on the safe side and turned around again.

Caleb was glad that the treehouse was shady enough to give some relief from the heat. Most of the other children and teenagers were drawn to the beach or the river. Caleb gave Penny credit for not saying another word about what had happened on the beach excursion. Instead, they both enjoyed the peace and quiet together in the cool tree house. By now they had set it up a little further. Now there was a small sitting area in which they liked to make themselves comfortable. Penny's neighbor had given her a shelf that she no longer needed. That was where the few cups and plates were now, as well as a mug with pens and paper. Caleb had tried to teach Penny how to play poker, but it hadn't quite got her. That is why the deck of cards was now lonely on the bottom shelf.

Caleb was infinitely tired. The gardenwork had really done him. He flagged himself in the corner on the soft pillows that Penny had brought from her room and inhaled deeply the scent of vanilla that was still hanging in them. She should be here soon. He took a cup and poured himself some ice tea and fumbled out a lemon, which he put on the rim of the cup. Caleb was soon struggling with sleep. His head kept tumbling to one side until he couldn't anymore and dozed off.

The sound of footsteps outside woke him. He expected Penny to be right in front of him, but the wrong family member appeared in the doorway. He started up, only to find himself in Jason's grip at once.

"Look who I found here, so now I know where you always meet. Didn't think you'd keep your dirty fingers off Penny."

"Fuck off Jason, it's not your business!"

Jason whistled once and two of his thug buddies joined them. Caleb had a bad feeling that this wasn't going to end well. Jason slammed him into a log that Caleb had built into the cabin. He was, so to speak, the pillar of the whole. He was almost breathless.

"I thought I made myself clear last time! You shouldn't meet Penny anymore."

"What's your fucking problem, dude?" Caleb was fed up with Jason being mad at him for no fucking reason.

"You Reaves, you are my fucking problem, you and your family of murderers and witches!"

He spat it into his face like poison and he had more in store.

"Oh, now you don't have such a big mouth anymore, huh? I know what your daddy did to your mom and then he shot himself cowardly."

"Shut up you asshole."

He was furious and tried to wriggle out of Jason's grasp, but Jason's just pinned him tighter to the tree. Who would have thought Jason was so strong. But he saw an opportunity. The 12-year-old kicked and met Jason between the legs who went to the ground. Caleb tried to give heel money, but Jason's pals held him.

"You bastard, you will pay for that! Get on the ground with him and hold him."

They hit him hard in the stomach that took all his breath and Caleb went down on his knees. They pushed him to the ground and clutched his arms. Jason sat on top of him and made sure that he couldn't kick him again. Then he took his switchblade out of his pocket and let it pop open. He slipped it under Caleb's shirt and cut it open to the neck. The cold metal slid over his skin. Caleb tried to digest the blow in the pit of the stomach, but was now all too aware of the situation. And tried to put distance between himself and the knife. Unsuccessful.

"Well, and since you obviously don't hear you will have to feel now."

Jason cut across his upper body. Not very deep, but it was burning and bleeding. Jason grabbed the lemon wedge from the ice tea and squeezed it over the cut. The pain brought tears to Caleb's eyes.

He didn't scream. Only a suppressed groan and a sound like an animal growl escaped Caleb's throat. Jason laughed dirty and wiped Caleb's blood on his cut shirt.

"Remember that you freak." And with these words Jason punched Caleb with his fist in the face so hard that it just got dark around Caleb.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

"Oh Jesus! Caleb! "

A cool hand touched his cheek. Vanilla scent. Blood. Pain. He opened his eyes a crack. Penny's red curls tickled him. She was very close.

"Caleb say something."

He groaned and rolled over and got on all fours. He looked at his blood-caked torso. It was bleeding like hell. Most of it was already dry. How long had he been gone?

"I am fine, everything is ok Penny."

"Fine? But that's not how you look. You're bleeding. What the hell happened?"

"I'm telling you I'm not missing anything. Your stupid brother happened!"

He almost yelled at her. She winced and took her hands off him.

"I'm sorry Caleb. I didn't mean ... Jason locked me up at home. Was that him?"

The boy sighed and run a hand through his dark hair.

"I didn't mean to snap at you, sorry." He said more gently now.

"How did you get out, anyway?"

"I climbed out the window. He'll kill me if he finds out that I've run away."

"Don't say that, he's not afraid to massacre me, but he's still your brother." He half grinned.

"I'll go to the creek and get some water, then you can wash yourself. You look like something out of a zombie movie. You can't come home like this."

She grabbed a bucket that was in front of the tree house and ran a few meters down to the small creek to come back with a bucket of water. In the meantime, Caleb was peeling off the remains of his T-shirt. He rubbed his aching jaw. When Penny returned, she soaked the broken t-shirt fabric in water and gently wiped the cut.

"Nurse would be something for you," Caleb quipped. But he got serious again.

"How does Jason know about my parents?"

"Why do you ask, I didn't tell him anything."

"He knew things that nobody here really knows except my grandma and Bird."

"Don't give so much to what Jason says."

"Ouch!"

"I'm already done. It also doesn't bleed anymore."

Caleb looked deep into her pretty green eyes.

"Thank you."

She was very close. Her vanilla scent enveloped Caleb. He looked at her lips, they looked soft and full. She hesitated for a moment and then withdrew.

"If you continue like this, I will definitely not feel any more pain." He said with a crooked grin on his lips.

"Leave the jokes. It's almost six. We should go home."

"What already six? You're right, you'd better be home before your psycho brother realizes you've sneaked away."

In the heat it wasn't noticeable that Caleb was walking around without a shirt, his torn shirt was slung over his right shoulder so that the wound could not be seen. He kept rubbing his jaw. They stopped a few steps before Penny's home, a safe distance away.

"Wait here a moment, I have to get something."

She went around the back of the house and ran to the clothesline and came back with a black T-shirt.

"Here, after all, Jason owes you one."

Caleb grinned and where she was right ...

He slipped into Jason's shirt and looked in her green eyes again. His heart was pounding in his throat. He had felt this way earlier when Penny had been treating him. His boldness won, what did he have to lose?

"However, if I'm in trouble, it should at least be worth it."

He took her hand and gently pulled her close. The two looked each other in the eye, he came closer and closer to her. His lips touched hers. She buried her hands in his hair. He cupped her waist. Time seemed to stand still. At some point she gently pushed him away. Her pale cheeks had turned a little blush. They just looked each other in the eye. Neither of them knew what to say now.

"You should go now, give me your shirt, I'll throw it away for you." Caleb made no move to go first.

She took his torn shirt out of his hand and beamed at him.

"Come on now."

When she harshly grinned at him, she turned and snuck through the back door into the house.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

He still had a tingling sensation in his stomach as he walked up the front steps. If Ruth noticed he was in pain, she said nothing. Caleb wasn't hungry and excused himself to his room.

Ruth watched Caleb a moment longer and caught a few bits of thought from him. She saw the tree house and Penelope appeared in her mind's eye when she witnessed Caleb's first kiss, pulled back from his head and was happy for her grandson. She shouldn't be so curious.

The cut throbbed and burned now. So he went to the bathroom first and washed again with clean water and cleaned the cut with an alcohol swab from the first aid kit that was in the closet under the sink. It burned like hell. He tried to bandage the cut, but after a few unsuccessful attempts gave up and taped it up with plasters as best he could. Exhausted, he fell into bed. What a day. They had kissed. Tomorrow was school. What should he do? Jason was getting more and more impossible. He wanted to keep seeing Penny, how could he do that?

The stabbing headache started again. Exhaustion overwhelmed him and he fell asleep over his worries.

When Ruth got ready in the bathroom in the evening, she combed her hair as usual and then cleaned the brush from the hair that had got stuck in it. She threw them in the trash can. What was that? She opened the lid and discovered bloody alcohol towels and bandages. She went to Caleb's room. He was already asleep. She was reluctant to wake him up when he was sleeping. But there was no delay.

"Caleb. Hey wake up."

She shook him by the side and touched the wound.

Caleb startled and let out a hiss of pain.

"Caleb, it's just me, Grandma, are you hurt? I found bloody towels in the bathroom?"

"' S is nothing, really."

She would not let herself get rid of, so she turned on the light and pulled the sheets aside.

"Come on, show me nothing."

Remorseful, Caleb took off his shirt. She looked at his plasterwork and shook her head.

"What happened?"

After removing all of the plasters, she realized it was a cut.

"Caleb, who was that?"

Her serious tone urged him to tell the truth now. He rubbed his dark hair in frustration and let out a heavy breath.

"Jason gave me a lesson. He doesn't want me to meet Penny."

"Well, that's really going too far. I'm going to Mrs. Hudson's tomorrow."

She went to the bathroom and got more bandages, one of her creams, and much larger plasters. When she was done, she put her grandson back in the sheets and kissed his forehead.

"Now go back to sleep. I'm sorry that I woke you up."

"Night Grandma." He almost crooked again and Ruth could soon hear deep breaths. She quietly closed the door behind her and went to bed herself.

It was hot, he went across the hall to the kitchen for water. When he opened the door, his hands looked very old. It wasn't his hands, they belonged to his grandma. He drank and turned back. He found it hard to breathe. Something was wrong. A pain twitched through his chest. He clutched his shirt. Little dots danced before his eyes. The ground came closer.

Caleb fell out of bed and heard himself gasp. His breathing was quick and grueling.

Ruth heard a bang. She startled and immediately knew it was Caleb. She got out of bed and opened the door to his room. He crouched on the floor and gasped for air.

"Darling, are you okay? Another dream?"

She took his hand and helped him to sit on the bed, where she hugged him until it got better.

"Are you ok, Grandma?"

She frowned. "Of course, I didn't just fall out of bed."

Caleb had a queasy feeling in his stomach. Somehow there was nothing reassuring about her statement.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The next morning he came out of his room as if whacked. He still had a headache.

"Good morning, darling. Are you feeling better?"

"Hm, okay."

"Do you think you can help out a little packing with Bird today? You know she's moving next week."

"Hmm, yes, I'll stop by her right after school."

"Ok, that's good, I'll let her know later, otherwise she'll do everything on her own again, you know her."

"I have to go Grandma."

Caleb left his cup of tea untouched and gave Ruth a kiss on her gray hair.

"See you later, Caleb."

She looked him over, something was wrong.

Caleb was waiting for Penny, but wasn't sure if she would come after what happened yesterday. He looked at the clock and decided to run, otherwise he would get detention again.

Penny was already at school. A shy apologetic smile crossed her lips as Caleb walked over to his seat. He had slipped into the class shortly before the teacher. He nodded off several times in class. Cody nudged him when the lesson ended.

"Dude what's wrong with you, you look like shit!"

Caleb rubbed his eyes. "I can't sleep well, otherwise there is nothing."

"Let's go outside I'm starving, or do you want to catch up on some more beauty sleep? The girls have already gone ahead."

He let himself be taken. Ronda, Cody and Penelope usually sat at the same bench and ate together during break.

"Hey Penny, where were you this morning I was waiting for you?" Caleb accused to her.

"Sorry, but Jason said I should drive to school with him. He's got a car now and he's still crazy about you being a bad companion.

Cody spoke up.

"Dude, what have you done?!"

He clapped Caleb on the upper arm with his fist.

"Oh, just shut up!"

Caleb pressed the bridge of his nose, turned and left without another word.

Penny wanted to follow, but Ronda stopped her.

"Come on Penny let him, he'll be fine, he's really weird sometimes."

"I'll check on him."

Cody said and followed him. Caleb wasn't that rude usually.

Caleb staggered into the boys' bathroom. His head felt like it was about to explode. He filled his hands with cold water and washed his face, then ran his cool hands over the back of his neck. What was going on today? Maybe he should have eaten. He felt sick. He had both hands pressed to his head. The pressure grew stronger. The pain forced him to the ground and suddenly the nightmare from tonight started playing again before his eyes. But this time he saw his grandma like an observer when she took hold of her heart and collapsed in the kitchen.

Cody entered the washroom. Caleb knelt, trembling, on the tiled wall by the sink. Could sweat covered his friends face he was so pale. Fear crept up Codys throat. Caleb was much too silent.

"Hey Buddy, Caleb, what's up. Hey can you hear me?"

Cody patted him lightly on the cheek. Suddenly his friend gasped like a drowning man.

"Take it easy, man! Breathe! Should I get a teacher?"

Caleb was still panting hard and stared at Cody in horror. His hands clutched his friend's shirt in a deathgrip.

"N- no…. I have…. I need to go home!"

He got to his feet and stumbled forward, grabbed hold of the door frame for a moment and ran out of the room.

The pre-teen had made it off the school grounds when he vomited. But since he hadn't eaten anything, he just choked up bile. Shaking he sank to the lawn and tried to calm his shaking body. The boy fight to feet again and ran on. He needed to reach his grandma in time. Fear crept up his throat. He never realized how long the way home was without Pennys company. Finally, the house was in sight. Caleb climbed the few steps of the front porch and stormed through the front door ignoring to close it.

"Grandma?"

His call echoed in the hallway. There was no reply. The sound of his boots on the floor where noisy.

 _No no no, don't let that be true, please!_ he prayed. He turned to the kitchen door and opened it with the usual squeak.

TBC


	10. Someone You Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song this chapter is named after and in which excerpts from it appear is not mine. It's "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi. The words were just so fitting!

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me_

_This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy_

_I need somebody to heal_

_Somebody to know_

_Somebody to have_

_Somebody to hold_

_It's easy to say, but it's never the same_

_I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain_

_Now the day bleeds into nightfall_

_And you're not here_

_To get me through it all_

_I let my guard down_

_And then you pulled the rug_

_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

Bird was carrying the 7th box into the garage when she saw movement in the corner of her eye. Was it Caleb who ran across the street? She pushed the box into the garage and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Ruth had said earlier that Caleb would help her later. She looked over at her friend's house. The door was open. Bird frowned when she heard a scream.

"GOD NO, GRANDMA!"

That was Caleb! She ran across the street. Afraid of what she would find Bird ran up the steps and hurried through the open door, the kitchen door was already open. The image would be burned into the woman's heart forever.

Ruth was lying on her side on the floor, a broken water glass scattered beside her. She didn't move. Caleb crouched beside her and held her hand.

"Grandma ..." he whispered while the tears ran down his cheeks, rocking back and forth over and over again.

"Jesus Christ, Caleb what happened ... Ruth?"

Bird came over immediately and felt her pulse. Nothing.

"Caleb call an ambulance!" The boy was completely absent.

Bird shook his shoulder and he looked at her in horror.

"Caleb, dial 9-1-1! Go!"

Bird leaned over Ruth and started CPR. She tried to push some air to her friends lungs and to press on her chest. There was movement in Caleb. He picked up the phone and dialed.

The kitchen was suddenly full. Paramedic with a stretcher and equipment, Bird, his grandma lying on the floor. Caleb had the feeling that he kept dropping out. He was trembling. Fear for his grandmother tightened his throat.

"Ready! Step back!"

One of the paramedics tried to restart Ruth's heart with electric shocks. Several times they tried without any reaction. At some point they stopped.

"It's over. We can't do anything for her anymore…"

When the words got through to him, he couldn't take it anymore. He woke up from the shock he had fallen into on the wall by the phone, turned around and ran. He never wanted to stop again, he wanted to run away from himself and his life. He couldn't go on. His world collapsed - again.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

School was finally over. Penny got into her brother's car. Jason let the engine roar as he drove off the school grounds. Penelope chewed her fingernails and stared out the window. She hadn't spoken a word to her brother since he locked her up yesterday.

They turned into Caleb's street. Penny looked at his house. Ms. Isbell was sitting on the step looking completely exhausted. She wondered about the scene. Cody had told her what had happened in the boys' bathroom. She was worried.

"Stop here!"

Jason looked over at her doubtfully.

"Certainly not here, princess."

Penny pulled the door opener. When Jason noticed it he pushed the brakes and stopped the car.

"Have you lost your mind?"

But his sister wasn't listening and stormed out of the car. She stopped in front of Bird.

"Ms. Isbell, what's the matter. Caleb ran home earlier. Did something happen?"

Bird looked at Penny's face, you could tell she had been crying.

"Oh Penelope, Ruth…. you …. She had a heart attack and we couldn't do anything. Caleb found her. When the rescue workers gave up, he ran away. Do you know where he could be? I don't know what to do now."

The girl had put her hand to her mouth in horror at the news. Tears welled up in her eyes. Ruth had been so nice to her. That couldn't be true. Caleb must have gone nuts. She couldn't even imagine how he felt. He had no one now.

"I'm going to look for him, I have an idea or two. Don't worry, I'll find him."

"Thank you Penelope."

She ran off. Her brother was still yelling after her but she wouldn't listen. So he drove home annoyed. Penny's thoughts were racing, had he run into the tree house? Or at the quarry? Sometimes he went there to think he'd told her. She had never been there with him before.

Out of breath, she arrived at the tree house and rushed through the entrance. It was empty.

"Caleb!" She called out loud outside. It stayed silent. She started running again. She would try the quarry.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

His feet carried him automatically, he didn't know where. When he couldn't walk anymore, Caleb simply dropped onto the hard rubble floor. He screamed the pain out of himself until he could no longer. He crouched down and couldn't hold back the tears. He was alone now, they all had left him alone. Why? Was it his fault? What did he do wrong? Had his grandma died because he had dreamed about it? Did he trigger it? It felt like someone had ripped out another part of his heart. Was there anything left at all? He lost all sense of time and space and gave in to despair. He was useless. Why he was still in this world?

He crept closer to the abyss. The edge of the quarry was cordoned off with a chain. It was easy to slip through. He didn't want to feel any more, or think any more. No longer be. He peered into the depths. There was a truck very far below. It looked like a toy car. If he jumped, he would surely be dead. Rugged rocks protruded from the edge. It would be painful for sure. But then it would be over. What would Bird think? What about Penny? A small part of his heart was still there. And there was something else. A feeling that made him think of a long-forgotten dream. Orange. Something familiar, like a thin cord pulling on him, no, not pulling. It was more of a gentle twitch. It pushed him away from the abyss. He pulled back a few feet and crouched miserably.

Penny tripped over the loose stones on the way, almost slipped. She slowed her pace. When she turned the next bend, she saw him, huddled on the ground. His shoulders kept shrugging and heartbreaking sobs could be heard. Slowly she approached. Why was Caleb so close to the edge? She didn't know what to say to him. Everything seemed stupid. Did he want to jump? She had to be careful now.

His girl gently put a hand on Caleb's shoulder. He jerked up and looked at her in misery. He was completely distraught.

"Penny!?" He managed brokenly.

"Caleb, ..."

"Stay away from me. Jason may be right. Everyone dies around me, I can't go on anymore."

"Caleb, it's not your fault, Ms. Isbell is worried, she doesn't know where you are. Come home with me."

All strength seemed to be leaving him. He just stared at the stone floor with his head down.

His girlfriend was waiting. She held out her hand to his. He didn't react at first, but let her pull him into a hug. All of his strength left him and he let Penny hold him. It could have been minutes or hours. The boy had lost track of time. She stroke her hand through his black hair to shooth him until the boy seemed to get a grip on himself again. Then there was movement in Penelope.

"Come on, let's go back."

He no longer had the strength to rebel against it. Caleb felt numb. Penny pulled him to his feet and led him back the way.

When Bird saw the two of them walking towards the row of houses, she ran towards them.

"Oh Caleb, I'm so sorry!"

He didn't respond. She took his hand out of Penny's, pulled him into her arms, and nodded gratefully to her.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Bird had settled Caleb in her guest room and had dropped her moving plans until the funeral was over. He was hardly approachable and didn't go to school for the rest of the week either, mostly he went out to the tree house. There he was able to suppress the fact that everything was different now. Or he sat in the room brooding and wanted to be left alone. She was at a loss. The only consolation was that Penny was mostly in the tree house with him.

Ruth's personal belongings had packed into more moving boxes so Bird could store them in her uncles house. There weren't too many. She had packed photos, jewelry, Ruth's sewing kit, and her papers. Everything else would given away. She had entrusted the house to the same agent as hers. Caleb's room was still untouched. She wanted to clear it up with him later. He'd only brought the quilt and some clothes and his sketch pad over with him.

Ruth had wanted her to take care of Caleb in case something happened to her. So she would take him to New York with her. Maybe a fresh start would make it better. The boy would have to go back to school there too. But she wasn't sure how he would take it.

When he came through the door late in the evening, they first ate together. After dinner he wanted to go to the guest room, but Bird asked him to stay.

"Caleb, I've been thinking. You know, I'm moving to New York and I've already prepared everything, as you know, I've just postponed the move. Since you live with me now, you will move to New York with me. A fresh start may be good for you. I know it's tough when you're new. But it also has advantages."

Caleb's head jerked up. He didn't know what to say about it. He didn't want to leave here. He wouldn't be able to see Penny then. He knew his way around here. He knew the people. He was going to lose that last bit of familiarity besides Bird. Bird shuddered from his icy stare. He roughly pushed the chair back, ran up the stairs to his room, and slammed the door. Bird dropped his head on the table. That hadn't gone well at all. She could hear something big being pushed upstairs and wondered what her foster son was doing up there.

She gave him a little while time to think about it. After she had cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen, she went upstairs and knocked gently on Caleb's door.

"Caleb, are you okay?" She pushed the handle down. The door opened only a few inches, then something blocked the way.

"Leave me alone!"

"Caleb, I'm sorry, but what else can I do. My house has already been sold and you have nowhere else to go. Caleb?"

He didn't answer. Bird went to bed dejected. The boy stared at the barricaded door and was annoyed that his opinion wasn't asked.

The next day, shortly after lunch, Bird went to the authorities to arrange a few things. After she was gone he pushed the dresser away from the door. His steps led him across the street. He went home, ignored the hallway and the kitchen and went straight to his room. Armed with a bag, he started packing everything he had painted. First the folder that Ruth had collected went into the bag. More pictures followed until he was satisfied and headed to the tree house.

He had laid out a small stone ring long ago in which he made a fire and began to burn each of his pictures separately. The colors melted and he watched as the fire consumed everything that he threw to it.

"Caleb! What the fuck are you doing!"

Penelope had run up here right after school because no one had opened at Ms. Isbell's. Caleb looked up from what he was doing and looked at Penny. Today she wore her copper-red hair openly, it played around her face. She often wore a black shirt and blue jeans when they were here. So they could just climb and build and play. Otherwise she mostly wore skirts. Today she must have come from school, because the light blue dress that looked completely out of place. Caleb thought she was beautiful, which made the stab in his heart even more painful. He stopped burning pictures and went to her.

"Hey ..."

His voice failed him further. His eyes were red and he put it on the smoke. He pulled her in his arms and buried his face in her vanilla-scented hair.

Penny's eyes went to the pile of sheets that had escaped the fire death while they embraced each other.

"Why are you burning them?"

"I ... I don't know exactly. I was angry and wanted to decide some fucking thing myself."

The girl grought him to armlength and looked confused.

"What are you not allowed to decide for yourself?"

"Oh Penny ... I ... I don't want ... Bird, she's moving ..."

"What are you talking about?"

"She will take me with her."

"To New York!?"

She now fully understood Caleb's statement and swallowed hard when she realized what that meant.

"But then…"

"... we won't see each other anymore."

Caleb finished her sentence. Penny now buried her face in Caleb's chest. He was much bigger than her and she liked to be held by him.

The evening had settled over the little hiding place and only branches fell victim to the fire now, until it was finally extinguished. Penny had saved the rest of the pictures from the flames. The two sat on the grass and watched the embers cool down. Neither of them had much to tell and they only gave each other comfort in this hopeless situation.

"When is the move actually planned?" She asked after a while.

"The day after tomorrow. Bird is already sitting on the packed boxes. My room is still there to be packed. But there isn't that much to do."

She buried her red curls deeper in his shirt and closed her eyes. Penelope wanted to sit here with Caleb like this forever. She would lose her best friend and the boy she loved too. Her heart was already aching, even though he was still very close to her. Caleb drove his fingers through her hair, lost in thoughts.

"It's almost dark. I don't want Jason to appear here again."

They couldn't deny it that they had to go home. Penny packed up the pile of pictures while Caleb put out the fire with sand.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

They had just packed the last boxes and bags into the car when Penny came around the corner.

"Hi, are you already driving?"

"These are the last boxes."

"I see… I want to give you something to remember me."

"You have always a special place in my heart. I won't forget you."

"I know, but…here."

She placed a brown braided leather bracelet in his hands.

"I made it myself, like you made one for me, so we are connected somehow."

"I love it. Penny…"

His voice broke. He looked at her and brushed a red curl from her face, as he almost always did. Their eyes met and both of them didn't care who was watching. Their lips met and for a moment they forgot the world around them, but the bitter taste of parting remained. His arms closed around her and held her tight.

"Caleb, we're ready!" Bird closed the trunk of her car.

Birds shout tore the two out of their world. They parted and Caleb looked into her green eyes. They glittered damp. It hurt to see her so sad.

"Goodbye Caleb ..."

Her voice cracked and she ran away before she started to cry. He promised himself that he would never ever open his heart to anyone again.

TBC


	11. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb's life keeps spiraling really deep down. New York City has many things in store for him. But trouble seems to find him, no matter where he tries to run.

April 1983, New York City

Caleb climbed down the fire escape from the window with his backpack on his shoulders. The street lights lit the Chinatown sidewalk a pale orange. He jumped the last few meters and hurried to get away. He couldn't stand Bird. She tried her best, but he just wanted to be left alone. The boy no longer trusted adults. Everyone had failed him. He should constantly cope with new situations. He missed his old life. He missed his Grandmas arms around him when he wakes up screaming from nightmares. And he also missed Penny.

In the two weeks he was here he hadn't even seen a fraction of New York City, let alone explored it. So that was probably his chance. The city never seemed to sleep. Constant traffic and hustle and bustle. Even the shops were often open 24 hours a day. He had bought canned coffee in a store and drank it outside while exploring. It was already after 2 a.m. and he was so tired despite the caffeine. His eyes were already burning from the little light that the lanterns offered, but he didn't even want to think about falling asleep. Caleb hadn't slept properly since Ruth died. Although he often dozed off from exhaustion, he was soon startled again. It drained his strength but he was afraid of the nightmares that would come.

The public school here was very different. It was worse than just being new. Nobody seemed to be interested in Caleb, except for the teachers who took it for granted that you understood everything they told you all day and were otherwise quick to deal with detention.

But it also had advantages to be in the big city, where nobody could assign you. In the schoolground you could get all the drugs and sleeping pills or stimulants you wanted. That way, he didn't have to ask Bird for pain pills because his headache wouldn't go away at all.

He pulled out the contents of his pocket. He still had $ 6 and 78Ct, in the other pocket he had the pills that Sven the schoolyard dealer had also given him, Captagon he had called them. They had two funny Cs printed like Jing and Jang. They should keep awake, without them he hadn't managed not to fall over from exhaustion at all. It was his last blister. He wasn't comfortable with it, but he just didn't know what to do. Caleb shoved it back into his black jeans pocket. He'd rather save it.

Bird had told him that tomorrow they would see a specialist who would definitely help him. That was the reason for his runaway act today. He was terrified that the doctor would "help" him to sleep and not have any control to escape the nightmares. Most of all, he was afraid of dreaming again about someone who would die. He couldn't let that happen.

Exhausted, he let himself slide down the pane of glass at the bus stop and leaned his head back. He didn't know what to do next.

He must have dozed off, he felt his body move and thought he was sitting on a train. The shaking just didn't stop and he forced his eyes to open. A shadow formed in front of him and his eyes widened in shock.

"Hey, thank God, I thought you were dead. You okay? You shouldn't sleep here, if the cops see you you'll be back where you come from faster than you would like or they'll book you straight into the juvenile detention center, trust me man, you don't want to be there. "

"Uhm, yes everything is ok. Sorry."

"Sorry? Is it the first time you ran away?"

Caleb straightened up with difficulty, his legs hardly wanting to hold him upright. Maybe he should throw the pills in after all, and then, he had no place to go, no protection, just Bird's apartment and he definitely didn't want to go there for the next few days.

"Isn't there always a first time?"

The stranger grinned and nodded, on closer inspection he wasn't much older than Caleb, maybe 15. His long blond hair was twisted into dreadlocks and stuck out in various directions. The tie-dye shirt had seen better days.

"I'm Elliot."

He held out his fist and waited for an answer. Caleb clasped his fist against Elliots.

"Caleb."

"Ok, Caleb, if you want, I know a place where you can stay for the night. What do you think?"

Caleb was unsure whether he could just trust this strange teen, on the other hand, had he just robbed him, Caleb probably wouldn't even have noticed. Although there wasn't much to get from him anyway. So what alternative was left to him?

"Yeah, that would be cool."

They went along a few streets until they came to a small alley that looked dark. Caleb felt in the pocket of his leather jacket for his knife. He didn't want to be ambushed unprepared. Elliot went ahead and finally stopped in front of an abandoned building shell. He pushed aside a tarpaulin and climbed through. Caleb let out a heavy breath. Man he was really done. He just didn't want to think, worry, and be angry anymore.

He slipped through the plastic curtain behind Elliot and followed him. In some rooms there were mattresses, it smelled of sweat and piss and pigeon shit, the further up you went, the better the smell at least got, there were several people up here, Elliot led him into one of the rooms in the back. Here the floor was covered with cardboard boxes and old cushions. A girl was sucking the smoke out of a bong. Elliot greeted the other two boys.

"Hey dude. This is Caleb, picked him up outside. Is it cool if he stays here tonight?"

A blond guy with hair reminiscent of Jim Morrison, quite red eyes and with a cigarette between his lips nodded to Elliot.

"I'm Terry. Come on in, we just wanted to have a drink. Let's see if one of you motherfuckers beat me today."

Caleb raised an eyebrow, what did Terry mean by that? He sat down on an empty seat and Terry put 7 shot glasses and a beer mug on the wooden box in the middle. He gave Caleb a challenging grin.

"Well, how about you try?"

The boy felt cornered. He had never drunk alcohol before and couldn't tell how much it would be, but it looked quite a bit. While he was still weighing, Terry filled the glasses with various liquids, some of which Caleb recognized. In addition to Jim Beam, Vodka, Jack Daniels and Jägermeister, he also filled a red liquor, a green stuff and a clear booze without a label. Finally he filled the beer mug. It was a small one, so it only fit half a bottle of beer.

"Ok, I'll start. Elliot do you take the time?"

Elliot pulled an expensive-looking watch from his pocket and fiddled with it for a while until he nodded. Terry put his cigarette in a hopelessly overfilled ashtray and began to empty the glasses one by one. He didn't even flinch an eye. He finished the beer on ex and threw up his hands in triumph.

Wuhoo! And how long?"

"45 seconds - still. Caleb it's your turn."

Terry poured again. Caleb wasn't entirely comfortable with it, but neither did he want to sit on the street again. So he moved closer to the box and sat facing his impending evil. Elliot waited for his OK to stop the clock. Reaves nodded and brought the first glass to his lips and tipped it down. It shook him, he had to waste a breath to tackle the next glass. The vodka went reasonably well. After the Jack and the Jägermeister, which tasted like medicine, the liquer and apple something were a boon. The clear one shook him again and he greedily drank the beer, which seemed mild to him. He put the mug down and covered his mouth.

"71 - not bad for your first row. For the first ...I needed ... seconds ..."

Everything spun he felt numb. He missed a few words spoken by Elliot. He felt the cushions beneath him. The fabric was scratchy but he didn't feel much more. His fingertips tingled and they felt numb at the same time. No more feeling. Wasn't that what he wanted? No more control, he certainly didn't want that. Everything merged. His fingers began to tingle more. Elliot said something to him. His eyes closed. Distant murmurs reached his ears. Until the world went black.

"Dude! Sweet dreams. Come on, it's my turn Terry. Let him sleep. He looks like he can use it."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Bird didn't want to rush Caleb. But it didn't go on like this with his behavior. The school had called her twice already. He slept in class or was absent for some lessons. He also threw around words Bird didn't even know he knew. She had to get his nightmares under control. Bird firmly believed that this doctor could help them. She knocked gently on his room door. No Answer. She knocked again, this time harder, and called.

"Caleb? Open up. I made breakfast."

Nothing. She turned the door handle. It was locked again. Ever since they got here he hid in the room and locked the door at night. She had left him. He needed time to process everything that had happened. She understood that, but it just couldn't go on like this. Maybe she should take the key from him. But then he would just push furniture in front of the door like he did in New Orleans.

"Caleb open up now. It's not funny!"

She pressed the handle several times, but there was no reaction. Was he ok? Panic crept up her throat, he hadn't done anything to himself? Suddenly she didn't care about the lock. She threw herself against the door with all her might. It only gave way on the third attempt, her shoulder hurt when the lock broke out of the frame. She almost fell when she stumbled into the room. It was empty.

"Caleb? ... Oh no, no, no, no."

She ran to the open window and stared down the fire escape. Then back to the room. His backpack was gone. His shoes and jacket too. Oh boy. You can not be serious...

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Lukas Gragon picked up the shrill phone receiver with a glance at the clock. It was eight in the morning. His shift was over soon.

"NYPD, Gragon on the line."

"Hello, this is Bird Isbell. My foster son, Caleb Reaves, ran away from home at night. Can you help me. He's 12 and we've only been in New York for two weeks. "

"Mrs. Isbell, please calm down. Is there a reason why you think he ran away?"

"I, ... he had a tough time and hasn't been able to sleep for weeks. I told him that we would go to the doctor tomorrow and he went into his room angry. When I went to check on him this morning, he was gone. He also took his things with him. Please you have to find him. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him."

"Ok, Mrs. Isbell, describe him to me briefly and tell me where you live so that we have a clue where to start, then I can pass it on to the patrol police."

Bird started to speak. Lukas wrote down the description and hints: Runaway, Chinatown, male, 12 year old white, black half-long hair, golden brown eyes, dressed in black with backpack, Caleb Reaves.

"Ok, Mrs. Isbell. I'll give it to the patrol. I still write down your number, then we can contact you if we should find him. But the teens usually come home after a few days when they run out of money. Be confident. But I have to inform you, if we find him, we have to contact the childservice too."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

"Gurr gurr"

The sound was right next to him. It kept repeating itself. Caleb opened his eyes. Daylight came in through the window and a pigeon peered over at him through the open hole. He shielded his eyes from the bright invasion with his hand and straightened up. Oh god, he was dizzy. Where was he? Next to him were empty shot glasses on a box. Further back in the small room a figure with sunglasses lay on it and did not move. Caleb winced as someone sauntered into the room.

"Hey Mr. Sunshine. I thought you wouldn't get up again. I've checked twice to see if you're still breathing. Here."

It was Elliot, he had met him at the bus stop at night. The teen held out a Sprite and a burger that was wrapped in Mc Donald's paper. Caleb was starving. He hoped that the queasy feeling would go away when he had eaten something.

"Thanks man. What time is it?"

Elliot took a watch out of his pocket, it wasn't the same as last night.

"Half past eleven. Otherwise there wouldn't be any burgers either. I have a job for you, interested?"

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

"And you think it will work?"

"Yeah man, you just gotta distract the store detective and pretend to be stupid. That's a surefire thing."

"I hope you're right."

Elliot and Caleb had gone to one of the shopping malls. Caleb looked halfway normal, so Elliot said he would be perfect as a distraction, since his clothes were not yet labeled street kid. Caleb had never stolen or lied, at least not to that extent. He felt queasy but it also had a certain charm.

"So, let's go."

Elliot walked a good way to Caleb, into the department store. Caleb stood ready near the detective and kept checking his watch as if he were waiting. Elliot saw an opportunity when the jewelry clerk left her counter and gestured to Caleb, after which he turned to the detective.

"Excuse me? I have an appointment with my mother, but she didn't come, can you have her called at the counter? We just moved to New York, I just don't know my way around here and I'm worried about where she's going."

"Hm, new here? So, come on then."

Caleb followed the department store watchdog to the counter. Elliot slipped behind the counter and helped himself.

"What's your mom's name?"

"Alison Randal."

The man turned to the lady in the counter and asked her to call out Caleb's supposed mother and insisted on flirting with the woman.

"You can wait here at Christl's, your mom will definitely come soon. Good luck!"

Caleb gave a quick wave of thanks and stood with Christl for a few moments. When the man was out of sight, Caleb waved to some lady and told Christl that it was his mom and ran up to the woman and said something to the woman to make the appearance. He left quickly and hurried to the meeting point. He hoped Elliot had enough time.

Caleb waited what felt like an eternity. When someone grabbed his shoulder from behind. He turned around, startled, and looked relieved into Elliot's grinning face.

"Dude, well done. You earned your second burger. Come along!"

Caleb let out a relieved breath when they were outside. Elliot went with him to Mc Donalds, however, to the delivery entrance.

"My cousin works here, so I always get the burgers that have been on the display for too long for free. It's just a game of chance, but we're not picky, right?"

"At least something to eat. It's perfect."

"Yes, but at some point you can no longer see it. What would I give again for a properly cooked meal."

The door opened and a slim man in McDonald's uniform nodded to Elliot and gave him a large takeaway bag.

"Thanks Charlie!"

They went back to the construction site house and Elliot provided his troop with burgers. While they ate a little off the others, Elliot became curious.

"Tell me Caleb, why did you run away?"

"Mmm, stress at home." He replied with his mouth full.

"Stress is always there, it takes more to turn your back at home."

"Fuck! It's not my home."

"Ok ok, take it easy man if you don't want to talk. No problem."

They continued to eat in silence for a while. Caleb felt bad, he didn't want to snap at Elliot like that, he had finally offered him a roof over his head and provided him with food. He decided on a few facts.

"My parents died when I was 6. After that I was with my grandmother."

"Oh, sorry to hear that. And is it not okay with your grandma?"

"She had a heart attack three weeks ago."

"Shit, I'm really sorry. Then where do you live now?"

"Actually with a friend of my grandma's, she's fine, but ... I just couldn't take it anymore. It's complicated."

"Forget it, I shouldn't always be so curious. Sorry."

"Sorry? I thought you don't say that here." Caleb grinned mischievously.

"You learn quick I see a great future coming for ya.."

"What did you actually sneak out with you?"

Elliot opened the backpack, which was full of silver and gold watches and jewelry. He also grinned triumphantly.

"Holy shit, you gotta be kidding me!"

"Yes, the yield wasn't bad, that's probably 500 bucks or more for me if I sell them to my fence."

Elliot closed the bag and shouldered it.

"I have to go now, will I see you later?"

"That's okay. See you later."

Elliot held out his fist to Caleb again and this time he hit in right away.

Caleb dropped into the cushions from last night. Terry was still in the corner like this morning. But you could hear his steady snoring. Caleb took out his sketch pad and immortalized the shabby room with the sleeping Terry and the shot glasses in pencil and paper.

When he was satisfied, he stroked Penny's leather braclet. What was she doing now, and Cody and Ronda, were they sitting on the bench in the school yard and eating, laughing and joking? Penny probably wasn't laughing yet. He could still see her sad look in front of him when he thought about her departure. He wanted her to be happy. It would be better if he was soon forgotten. He was poison for his environment.

He rubbed his hair in frustration and looked around the room. There was a poster on the wall from which Cindy Crawford smiled down at him. Next to Terry were various magazines with naked women. Caleb pulled one out curiously. It was a playboy. He flipped through the pages and even read some of the articles. Until he opened the middle page and held the booklet across.

"Hey man, put that away, Terry doesn't like it when you touch his magazines."

Caleb quickly closed the Playboy and hurried to put it back in Terry's pile.

"I didn't know that."

"No problem man, as long as he hasn't seen it we're cool with each other. I'm Jimmy by the way."

"Caleb. Thanks for the hint."

"What are you painting there, that doesn't look bad at all."

"Oh that, I was just bored."

Caleb quickly closed the pad. But Jimmy barely let him stow his things and pulled him with him.

"Come on, I'll show you something cool."

Caleb didn't know what to do with his time anyway and went with Jimmy. They went up another two floors. All kinds of graffiti were lined up on this floor. Comic style, fantasy style, just lettering or stick figures or tic tac toe. All sorts of things adorned the walls.

"Here you can let off steam without the cops on your neck, but the thrill is missing. Maybe you would like to try it?"

Jimmy waved an inviting hand toward the paint cans. Caleb hesitated, then grabbed a black can and shook it. The metal ball made a steady rattling noise. He thought for a moment and sprayed the silhouette of a dragon on the virgin wall.

"Dude, Caleb, I like your style, we should be spraying this outside tonight. What are you saying?"

"Hey Jimmy, are you giving Caleb some stupid ideas?"

Elliot came over and looked at the dragon silhouette and nodded approvingly. It felt good to be well received. You didn't feel like an outsider anymore. The guys here did pretty crooked things, but they didn't ask too many questions either and took him as he was.

"Not bad. You are full of surprises. Follow me."

He followed Elliot back down while Jimmy was still studying the dragon.

In her compartment downstairs, Elliot counted money and handed Caleb his share.

"I was able to get rid of everything. This is your 100 bucks, is that ok for you?"

"That's more than ok. That is crazy! Let me know if you need a partner again."

The blonde grinned. From the look in Caleb's eyes, he could have sworn the boy had never had so much money in his hand. He was almost a child. Innocent, he saw it in Caleb's eyes. Innocent and deeply hurt. Could Elliot be responsible for letting him hanging around here? The kids in this house did a lot for money. Caleb was handsome and Elliot didn't want him to meet Ronny. He had experienced first hand what life on the street could force you to do. If Elliot had the choice, he'd rather live with a friend of his grandma's than to get by here.

"Come on let's go out."

They strolled through the streets. Caleb wondered about his new friend. He looked so serious. He could clearly feel that he was uncomfortable about something.

"Are you okay Elliot?"

"Huh? Uh yeah, yeah ... I was just thinking. You know I just can't get it into my head I mean why you ran away I mean, I know that you're an orphan and that sucks, I don't want to put it down, but at least you have something where you can live and someone takes care of you. Staying with us is not exactly good for your health. They all seem nice to you, but I've also experienced other things."

Caleb understood what he meant, at least he thought so, but Elliot hardly knew him. Caleb had the feeling that he barely knew himself. Oh it was all so fucked up. Why did he run away? Bird wanted to help him. But no one could take away his nightmares and the past he was sure of that.

Elliot watched with satisfaction as it worked in the boy's head. But what he also saw was less satisfactory. Two police officers looked conspicuously in their direction. Elliot was known to the police and had already been in juvenile prison. He didn't feel like going back there.

"Fuck, Caleb let's get outta here, the cops. We split up. So we have better chances."

Caleb made the first mistake, in hindsight it was just another. He turned to the cops and saw they were pointing at him and he ran. Elliot disappeared around the next row of houses. Caleb didn't blame him and turned in the other direction.

The chase was short because Caleb was just finished and the cops damn fit. The officer grabbed him from behind in the hoodie and pushed him to the ground.

"Let me go you fucking cop! I didn't do anything!"

"Take it easy, kiddo. We just want to ask you a few questions, why are you running away?"

"Take your fucking hands off me assholes."

"Well, you have a pretty loose mouth."

Caleb continued to struggle, without any chance. A little later he found himself handcuffed in the police car. They would take him to the station to determine his identity. Because he didn't want to tell them what his name was. He had really screwed it up, at least Elliot had gotten away, besides running away he hadn't done anything illegal. Ok, maybe shouldn't have sworn like that. It was too late now.

Elliot had quickly shaken off the other cop, and he had the impression that they were looking for Caleb. Perhaps it was better that way when he was brought back home.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The door to the police department opened and Officer Holloway led a swearing and writhing teenager in black clothes. He was handcuffed and couldn't do much damage.

"Harry, what a wildcat did you find there today!?"

"Let the fuck go of me. I say I haven't done anything!"

"Ha ha very funny Gragon. Isn't that your runaway? He took off as soon as we got closer."

Caleb took the opportunity in which the cops talked to each other and were apparently careless and tore himself away, only to be roughly grabbed again.

"I'm not going back. Take your dirty fucking hands off me!"

"That's enough, you calm down in the cell now."

Holloway pushed the teen in front of him and into the sobering cell and closed the door behind him. The cop slid open the lid and asked Caleb to stretch out his hands so he could remove the handcuffs. There was still a child in there and so far he had only thrashed with words.

Caleb kicked the door as Holloway closed the lid again and sat on the cold bunk in frustration. His head hurt and he started shaking. Bird would lynch him.

The description just fitted this teenager really well. Lukas gave it a try

"Hey, Caleb Reaves. You're already missing. "

Caleb was crouched on the bunk in the corner and looked up when the cop called him by name. He knew that Bird had called the cops after they noticed he had disappeared. Otherwise nobody would have missed him.

"You know him?" Holloway strolled over with a donut in hand.

"I think he is indeed my runaway."

"I'll let his foster mother know that we have him. Then I call the youth welfare office."

Lukas went back to his desk and picked up the phone.

TBC


	12. Back and deep down

Almost two hours later, a tall African American entered the police station.

"Hey Abe, nice that you made it so quickly."

He talked to the cop briefly. They seemed to be familiar to each other well and after a few sentences the cop pointed in the direction of the cell in which Caleb was sat and brooded.

The metallic sound of the key in the lock let the boy look up. Holloway asked him to come with him. He was brought in something like a meeting room in which a very tall man sat over a folder and waited for him. The door closed again as Holloway left the room. Caleb settled himself opposite the man and pressed his lips together.

"Hello Caleb, I'm Abraham Sullivan. I am your case worker."

The teen was tired and hungry and shocked about the changing events of the day. He also had no desire to talk to anybody. So he just answers flat.

"If you say so man."

"Ok ... I spoke to Ms. Isbell on the phone. She told me about your parents and your grandmother. I'm sorry you went through this."

Caleb was silent and stared at a point on the white table. Oh yes they were all so sorry about that. He hated this verse. It brought no one back from the dead.

"Are you all right with Ms. Isbell? Does she scold you or something else you don't want?"

"No! I ... shit!"

"You can tell me everything Caleb. I am not allowed to speak to Ms. Isbell of what you entrust to me."

"Fuck, she didn't do anything wrong, ok!"

He jerked up and the chair makes a scratchy noise when he pushed it back.

"It's all my fault ... I ... forget it man. You know nothing about me! So keep the fuck out of my life!"

He rubbed his eyes and shoved his hair out his face. He slumped back in the chair and covered his face with his hands and let them finally fall loosely down on his sides. The point he was staring at before was targeted again.

"Ok, if you don't wana talk, I'll tell you how we go on."

Abe made a pause to get Caleb to react. But the only response was the cringe of his teeth He didn't want to speak to Abe again.

"Well, it's going to go like this ..."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Bird opened the door to her apartment and pulled Caleb into her arms.

"Oh boy, don't do this to me again. I was so worried, are you okay?"

He just nodded and slipped in through the door after Bird released him from her unrequited embrace. She watched him thoughtfully as he disappeared into his room.

"Mr. Sullivan, don't you want to come in for a coffee?"

"Thank you Ms. Isbell. We still have a lot to discuss anyway."

Caleb locked the door of his room, or at least he intended to, as always. But the lock was broken off the door frame.

"What the..."

Had Bird done that when she went to check on him? He remembered leaving the room locked. Bird must have broken down the door to get to him. He let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his black hair. He only brought her grief. He had to plan better next time. He let himself fall on the bed, wrapped himself in Ruth's quilt that he had left on his bed. As soon as the familiar fabric covered him he could no longer stop the flood of tears that made their way to his eyes.

All he wanted was Ruth to hug him and bring the pain he was feeling now under the surface again. But no, he wanted one thing even more, his mother. But the memory of her was hardly there, he could only visualize a few images. Walks on the beach, her smile when Caleb brought her a new shell or painted with her and, of course, how she lay lifeless and bleeding on the bedroom floor. That last picture haunted him all the time. Violent tremors ran through his body and he no longer knew when he had stopped crying and fell asleep exhausted.

A gentle knock woke him.

"Caleb? I brought you something to eat."

Bird entered the room and placed a tray of sandwiches and tea on the desk. She sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to stroke the boy's black hair, he winced and she withdrew her hand. Mr. Sullivan had warned her not to be too quick to believe that everything was all right. There was also the possibility that he could run away again and then the youth welfare office would have to intervene and it would result in a hearing. She wasn't sure how much longer she would bare it if he continued to withdraw like this.

"Caleb, are you ok? Do you want to talk and tell me what happened?"

He shook his head and turned his face away from her. Bird sighed softly and rose to leave. Even if it was very quiet, she heard the words Caleb whispered under the covers.

"I'm sorry."

She stopped and turned to him, he looked so lost, huddled under the covers.

"I'm not angry, just glad nothing happened to you. And I'm sorry too. I won't push you to see a doctor anymore."

She went out the door and left it open a crack. Caleb heard her footsteps receding. He was a little calmer after her promise. He closed his eyes, only to force them open again shortly afterwards, it took so much strength, strength that he no longer had. I can't fall asleep now. I'm afraid. I am not allowed to sleep. I have to do something ...

He got up and looked at the sandwiches. He felt starved and exhausted. Still, he couldn't bring himself to eat anything. His clothes made him feel tight. He took off the black jeans and trampled them on the floor. Somewhere out of the depths of his trouser pockets the pills that he still had fell out. Last time two weren't enough to keep him from sleeping. He bent down for it and took all four that were still there and washed it down with the tea that was on the tray. He grabbed one of his books and began reading the Knights of the Round Table again.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

A sirene out on the street brought his attention back to reality. Caleb climbed from the bed to look what caused the noise. But soon turned away from the much to bright window, groaning. His temples ached as he turned back moaning. He felt nervous and started to pace through the room. The book, which was somewhere in his blanket, fell to the floor as he tug the Quilt around him. He wasn't really tired only his body was so endless heavy and he felt so cold except his head. The pressure got worse and worse. After trying to massage the sides of his head which didn't work either, Caleb dragged himself into the bathroom.

He washed his face while he shivered. The cool water eased the pain a little, he looked at himself in the mirror. Is that really me? A pale figure looked back in the mirror. Circles under the reddened eyes. His hair was tangled in all directions. He let out a heavy breath. Looked in the mirror again and had a dialogue with himself. Man, suck it up! You can't go downstairs and meet Bird like this. She put's you in an hospital or worse. His mind was still circling over his appearance when a hot pain like glowing metal flashed through his head. It hurt so much that the tears ran down his cheeks completely uncontrollably. All Caleb could do was drag himself back to bed and wait for the pain to subside.

The nausea that set in at some point brought him out of his delirium. He jerked up. His body blocked out the headache for a moment as he ran to the toilet and vomited. He thought it would never stop until he could only choke up bile and sweated heavy and let himself slide limp down the wall. He was so dizzy, colored dots danced in front of his eyes his heart was pounding so hard in his chest as if it wanted to burst out when everything went black. So finally Bird found him, unconscious, lying on the floor with his head leaning against the cool tiles.

"Oh Jesus, Caleb !? Boy don't do this to me!"

Bird slapped him lightly on the cheek and shook his shoulders, his shirt was clammy from the cold sweat and she had never seen a living soul so pale. She felt his pulse and let out a breath of relief. It was weak but it was there. But he just didn't come to wake up. Bird didn't hesitate long, she didn't know what caused this so she ran to the phone and dialed 911.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not much about drugs and medicine, so if there are any mistakes, they are all mine. This one was a little short, but real live keeps me busy, and I don't know if anybody is interested in the story so far. So it would be so pushing if you tell me your thoughts about it and if I should go on with the story!


	13. Saltlines

Bird was completely exhausted. She just didn't know what to do anymore. It had been 48 hours since she noticed Caleb's disappearance. She hadn't had a quiet minute since then. She just couldn't go on like this. The doctor had asked her all sorts of things, whether Caleb had allergies, was taking medication, or drugs. She had denied it. Caleb's condition was not clearly understood. He wasn't even conscious yet. So far it was only clear that he collapsed. The blood tests were still pending.

Bird drove home and went to his room, only to get some clothes for him as she found the empty blister of pills. Bird had to sit down, how could he have slipped away from her like that? How did he get pills? She searched his belongings for more drugs. Maybe that could enlighten the situation.

His bag was still untouched near the bed. She opened the zipper and took out the sketch pad. Should she look inside? She decided against it. Drugs wouldn't be in it, would they? She put the pad on the desk uncertainly. After she had his clothes on the bed and pens on the desk, the bag was empty. She ran her hand over the floor and felt a crack on the edge. Her fingers slid underneath and she pulled up the solid bottom of the bag.

"What the...?"

She counted the nearly 100$. How did he get so much money? She continued to search every corner of his pocket and rummaged through all of his pants and sweater pockets. But found only the Deuce of Spades which he always had with him.

Back at the hospital, Bird gave the doctor in charge the empty blister and told him she found it in Caleb's room.

Dr. Miles studied the package and sighed, shaking his head. It was frustrating how easy it was for the kids to get pills and drugs. He could only hope that these pills were all that explained Caleb's breakdown.

"Have you noticed any change in Caleb in the past few weeks? Different eating habits or sleep disorders? Was he unusually excited or something similar?"

"He didn't eat much, but that's probably not unusual, his grandma died 3 weeks ago. He had a difficult childhood and often wakes up by nightmares. Caleb lost his parents at the age of six and has lived with his Grandma since then. He's still grieving and I didn't think anything unusual about it. Where did he get the pills anyway and what are they?"

"I see…Ms. Isbell, the drug is called Captagon. He probably bought them on the street or at school. He goes to school, doesn't he? It is a kind of stimulant, it leads to the typical amphetamine effects such as increased alertness and motivation. It can lead to seizures and cardiovascular collapse if you overdose it."

Bird's hand had wandered to her mouth and tears welled up in her eyes. She had to get a grip on herself for a moment. Dr. Miles soon continued speaking.

"The lack of sleep means that you have a significantly higher energy requirement, but since your appetite is inhibited and you don't eat enough, deficiency symptoms quickly develop. If that goes on for several weeks, it can become very critical."

"Oh Jesus, Caleb. Do you think he wanted to avoid falling asleep? I wanted to take him to a doctor because of his constant nightmares. I just do not know how to go on. He hardly talks to me at all. I thought if he got some time he would open up more. I should have noticed something ..."

"Don't blame yourself we still don't know how many he took. We can draw conclusions from the blood results. At the moment he is stable and we are monitoring his vital signs. His body probably needs this break. When he wakes up, we'll see."

The doctor tried to calm her down, but Bird felt like she failed Caleb. How did Ruth manage it all? Children were difficult, especially a traumatized kid like Caleb. She sighed and went to the coffee machine and went back into the room in which her foster son was lying to sit vigil next to him. It was going to be a long night.

Bird kept dozing off, a friendly night nurse had brought her a pillow, so it was more bearable. A look at the clock showed 8:35 in the morning. She yawned and stretched her stiff body. Caleb had not wake up yet and she kept glancing at the monitor, which did not show any abnormalities, as well as she could judge. So she went back to her newly appointed best friend, the coffee machine.

"Ms. Isbell? Is that you?"

Bird looked up. Abe Sullivan was strolling towards the machine.

"Mr. Sullivan, what are you doing here?"

"I visit a friend. And you? Where's Caleb? Is he alright?"

Bird needed someone to talk to. She poured out all her worries in front of Abe and found a willing listener in him. After she had put the frustration off her mind, Abe put a sympathetic hand on her back.

"Children like Caleb are difficult and often have to be handled very careful. I guess he felt cornered by your suggestion with the doctor. Do you think he wanted to submit suicide?"

"I… I don't know what to think anymore. I can't imagine what he went through. Thank you for listening to me, Mr. Sullivan."

"No problem. I need to go, work is calling. We'll keep in touch, okay? Call me when Caleb is at home again so I can look after you two."

Bird nodded and blew her nose before pulling herself together again and walking back to Caleb's room.

A strange smell penetrated Caleb's nose. It reminded him of something. Two more breaths and the memory set in. A hospital like that terrible night ... He forced his eyes to open. It was bright white, the sun made the walls look even brighter. The thin white sheet that wrapped him didn't keep warm. He shivered and tried to sit up with a groan until he noticed the IV tube on his arm and some adhesive pads that itched terribly.

How did he end up in a hospital? He was alone. Why the hell was he alone? Shouldn't someone be with him? But who was interested in him? Bird maybe, but she just wanted him to function. She had promised him that she would not drag him to the doctor, but now he found himself a fucking hospital. He felt betrayed. The last thing he could remember was reading. His vision went black for a second and he decided not to get up. He was just thinking about ringing the bell for the nurse when the door opened and Bird's small figure was visible.

"Caleb, you woke up. Thank God!"

"Bird, what happened? Why the hell am I in the hospital?"

Anger crept up her stomach. He always was so blaming others for trying to help him. She forgot all her good intentions an started her tirade.

"I was hoping you would explain it to me. I found you passed out in the bathroom you weren't reacting on me and called 911. What were you thinking."

She wanted to give him the opportunity to explain, but he didn't answer.

What did she mean by that? It wasn't my fault, was it?

"I found something at home. How did you get these pills? Did you want to kill yourself? I just don't understand what's going on here, Caleb. Why didn't you speak to me? And where did you get almost 100$ from ..."

"What! Did you went through my things? What the hell is that supposed to be!"

"Beware of your tongue young man!"

"You're not fucking reprimanding me! You are not Ruth and certainly not my mother. I'm just a burden to you. You didn't want me at all. And I didn't want to move to this freakin town anyway! Fuck!"

The itching was driving him insane. He reached into the hospital gown, pulled the pads off his chest, and rubbed his skin. Frustrated, he dropped his hand on the mattress and averted his gaze from Bird. He didn't want her to see the moisture in his eyes because he felt completely betrayed and abandoned.

Bird already regretted what she had said. Mr. Sullivan had warned her to handle him very careful. She also didn't know what had made her so angry. She was ashamed.

A warning light came to life in the nurses' room. Nurse Peggy looked up from the papers she just went through and put the pen down to walk quickly to Room 79. Not sure what to expect, she opened the door. Her patient was awake and his foster mother was standing by the bed. They had apparently quarreled. A heavy silence filled the room. The monitor's sensor pads hung down on the floor and a warning light flashed.

"Everything OK? You're awake, that explains why the machine beeped. How do you feel?"

The nurse gave Caleb a friendly look, but the boy continued to stare at the sheet, gritting his teeth. She shut down the alarm of monitor and fiddled with the IV. Peggy made a few notes on the clipboard by the bed and briefly looked uncertainly into their faces. She could almost feel the tension in the room and felt uncomfortable.

"I'll let Doctor Miles know you woke up."

After Dr. Miles had checked him over, Caleb was allowed to get up under Nurse Peggy's supervision. He felt weak and let help him into the bathroom. Dr. Miles turned to Bird.

"So far, his values are okay. It couldn't have been that many pills. The concentration in the blood is not critical. However, we were able to detect ethanol in his blood, which certainly increased the effect of the Captagon. Have you ever noticed that he has consumed alcohol? I strongly advise you to go to a specialist with him. If he has trouble sleeping as you say, this should be clarified so that such a situation does not recur. We will definitely keep Caleb here overnight for observation. If you not inform the youth welfare office we have to make a call."

Bird let out a frustrated breath. What if they took Caleb away from her? How could she explain this to him? A specialist? How could she even explain that? She had practically promised not to try again to take him to the specialist. It would be best if she talked to him about it at home.

***SPN***BH AU***

After Bird said goodbye that evening and got rid of the IV needle, he was alone in the room again. He had told her she could sleep at home safely. The tension between them was clearly felt. Neither of the two really dared to say anything relevant.

Not that he thought it was good to have a roommate who couldn't shut his mouth, but all the noises became more intense and the thoughts louder when you were all alone. After what felt like an eternity, he couldn't take it anymore. The clock showed 11pm.

He slid his legs off the bed. After a few moments sitting just there to get rid of the dizzy feeling, Caleb went to the bag that Bird had brought him during the day and pulled out some clothes. He immediately felt better with his own a little weak but much better. His hand slipped to his back pocket. Relieved, he pulled out the Deuce of Spades. He was glad that Bird in the rush had grabbed the first pair of pants she found and it was the one he had taken off in front of his bed. He looked at the card briefly and a lump formed in his throat. He put the card back to its usual place and headed for the door.

The station corridor was silent and deserted. Only at the end of the corridor faint radio noises could be heard. Caleb took the other way. He made several turns until he no longer knew where he was. Every corridor looked the same. Where the hell was the exit?

He started to read the signs on the doors to find a way out of this labyrinth. Most of them were only numbered others had an additional word like laboratory or broom closet. The last one read storeroom. The lights in this corridor suddenly flickered several times and then went black. Caleb was petrified. All the warning bells in the 12-year-old's body went to life. A green emergency exit sign was visible further back.

He watched as his breath became visible in a small white cloud. It got freezing and he didn't know why. Caleb pulled his sweat jacket closer around him.

Suddenly there was a rattle from the room that he had just passed. Caleb stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall. The boy panicked, ran to the exit sign and threw himself against the door to the stairwell.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

"Mackland hurry up!"

James Murphy had struck with the chisel and for the moment made Mrs. Miller's ghost disappear. The blow had emptied the shelf behind her and some metal bowls clattered to the floor.

Mac meanwhile hastily pulled out every drawer in the closet. He searched hastily, but couldn't find the green pendant. He didn't know how long Jim could fight the ghost. His shoe touched the line of salt that was drawn around him and the closet. It crunched under his expensive leather sole and he cursed softly and pulled his foot back into the protective circle. There were still 3 drawers to search.

Why in the world were all these things stored here? He needed to ask whether such a storeroom could be found in every hospital. The doctor pulled the next one. A green gem shimmered in a plastic bag, set in a gold chain. It finally had to be the right one.

The translucent figure manifested itself again and let a stainless steel trolley race towards the pastor, who was hit by the force unprepared and dropped the chisel. As hard as he tried, the trolley couldn't be pushed away and pinned him to the wall.

"Mac ..."

Mackland Ames jerked around by the unusual use of his short name form and saw his mentor's predicament. He yanked the stainless steel drawer out of the closet. His hands were usually calm, as a neurosurgeon they had to, but just now he couldn't control the tremors. He sprinkled salt and alcohol over the pendant just as Jim had told him and set everything on fire.

The flames licked over the stone and at the same time Mrs. Miller's spirit went up in flames until it evaporated. Suddenly the trolley didn't put any pressure on Jim and he let himself slide to the ground with a sigh.

"Well, that was exciting for your first ghost!"

Mac ran his trembling hands through his curly brown hair and looked questioningly at the pastor who rubbed his chest in pain.

"Are you ok Jim?"

"Everything OK. But you shouldn't have needed much longer. I could at least use a whiskey now."

Jim got up and came over to pat Mackland on the shoulder in appreciation and smiled blissfully.

"Now we just have to clean up the mess."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Caleb rushed down the stairs to the next door, which he roughly opened, and found himself on the first floor. Warm air welcomed him, his heart pounded to his throat. The last thing he wanted was to get noticed, so he kept moving but stopped running. As he crossed the door to the hospital chapel. Without knowing the reason why he slipped into it.

The dark blue carpet that was laid swallowed every sound. A large plain cross that was illuminated hung on the wall opposite behind some kind of altar. He stood uncertainly at the door and then slowly walked closer right to the front of the altar.

Caleb never prayed. In fact, he didn't know why he was here. He felt idiotic saying anything loud alone, so he just thought.

Is there really a god? Why does he allow so much dread? Why are my parents and grandma dead? Why I wasn't allowed to know my brother? Why am I all alone?

His fear and grief consumed him inside. He sank to his knees in front of the altar. His eyes sting and a lonely tear escaped his eye.

If you can hear me, please help me...I just don't know how to go on.

His throat constricted and the rest of the salty tears made their way over his lips and were soaked up in the black denim of his pants.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

When the Neurosurgeon and the Pastor left the hospital, Mac felt weird, like he'd forgotten something in the hospital. The adrenaline that flowed through his system from the hunt slowly ebbed and the night nurse nodded goodbye to him.

If she only knew what they had just done. He wondered if she wasn't happier, as unsuspecting as he was not so long ago. She could go home after work without fear of monsters, vampires, werewolves, ghosts and demons. Not to mention the things he didn't know yet.

But it made him proud to be one of the few people who made sure the others were safe.

"Are you all right Mackland? You seem so absent."

"What ... yes everything is fine. That was pretty exciting. I think I accept your proposal with the whiskey. I know a place to go."

TBC


	14. Despair

Abe Sullivan sat at his desk, frustrated, picking up the next file from the stack, over which he could barely look, which was considerable because he was a bear of a man.

He read the name Caleb Reaves. The pre-teen's grumpy face popped into his mind's eye. He hoped the boy would be released from the hospital tomorrow and come home to Ms. Isbell.

This morning he had surprisingly met her there. She was really worried about Caleb. But there were always people who couldn't get along with difficult children like Caleb, no matter how good their intentions may be, that's not their fault, they aren't doing anything wrong directly. They just lack the children's perspective. They had a lot of work to do if that was supposed to work.

He opened the file and began reading the 1978 police report. So far all he knew was what Ms. Isbell had told him. The pictures in the police file were terrible. The youth worker realized that the six-year-old Caleb had seen it all.

Abe didn't take the Jonny Walker out of his desk very often. But this was one of the cases that got under his skin. He had seen a lot so far, but for some reason this boy troubled him more than the others.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

Nurse Teresa nodded to the Mexican woman, Polina or something like that, who pushed the breakfast cart towards the ward, then yawned heartily when no one was looking and went back to her TV show. A knock on the glass interrupted her, however. Sullen, she went to the door and asked Polina what was going on.

"No one in room 79 there, should I take food with again?"

Teresa looked at the occupancy schedule. Caleb Reaves, 12 years old, was supposed to sleep there. Peggy had finished her usual round at 10 p.m. and assured her that everything would be quiet and everyone in their room. She switched off the television and motioned for Polina to wait a moment before heading for the said room.

The bed was rumpled, the hospital nightgown was on the floor, and a gym bag was open on the bed. No shoes, no street clothes were in the closet or anywhere else in the room. That couldn't be true. Why does something like this have to happen on her shift? She ran back to the nurses' room and hit the speed dial button for security.

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

The door of the chapel opened silently and Pastor Jordan headed for the altar to prepare his sermon in the hospital chapel. Not many patients came, but if only one came to Jesus through him, it was worth all the effort. As he walked, he checked his watch, it was only 6 a.m. He still had time to pray and make all the preparations. He stopped in mid-movement, because on the floor in front of the altar lie a figure dressed in black unmoving.

Oh Jesus Christ that was a child! With a hasty step he came closer and touched the boy's shoulder. Thank god he was moving. Far too quickly though, because he hit the pastor in the face when the boy jerked up in shock from the touch.

"No!" Caleb shouted loudly, for he had just been caught in a dream in which high dark waves tried to push him under water. His face felt hot and puffy. He stared into the priest's face with wide eyes.

He was middle-aged, all people between 30 and 50 seemed middle-aged to teenagers. The man rubbed his cheek and Caleb realized he'd just hit him.

"What the ... who are you ... I didn't want to ..."

Caleb slid back a good distance from the man, he didn't like it when someone came so close to him.

The boy looked scared and lost as he shrank from him. Not like a patient, because he was wearing his street clothes but visiting hours were beginning at 8 o'clock. So what was he doing here? The kid wiped the dark strands of hair out of his face and Jordan saw that he had been crying. Jordan smiled forgivingly at Caleb.

"First of all: I'm Pastor Jordan. Second: Could I ask you the same thing, after all, you're lying in my church room. And third: It's okay ... nothing happened, I should have spoken to you first."

"I ... I'd better go."

He was already on his feet and hurried to the door.

"Son wait, stay on, it's really okay. We don't have to talk either if you don't want to. I'll just keep preparing my speech and you can calm down for a moment."

Caleb paused and frowned, almost back to the door. What should he do outside, in his hospitalroom he could hardly stand it where should he go? Wandering around NYC again? He could go to Elliot, but he didn't even know which hospital he was in. And the last time that had ended with the cops. so he accepted the offer and sat in one of the back rows and watched the pastor.

After a while he got a grip on himself again. The pastor prayed and read his notes. Caleb's gaze followed him the whole time. Every now and then Jordan would peek at the boy and find that he was watching him. Finally the boy broke the silence.

"How do you know that God exists?"

Jordan lifted his head and took off his reading glasses to place them on the desk. He stepped closer to the boy, but made sure to keep a row of seats away.

"Well, how do you know he doesn't exist? Just because you can't see things doesn't mean they're not there."

"Well, that's a cryptic answer, man."

"Why are you here if you don't believe he exists?"

Caleb didn't answer, and was already thinking of leaving. However, the pastor was not intrusive and even kept his distance from his personal space. What harm would it do to speak to him.

"It was quiet here and I was confused and had to think. I don't really know why I got in here."

"When it is quiet we hear what God has to say to us. Sometimes it takes time to hear the answer. We humans are impatient. But he always answers, in my experience. Time is not as important to him as it is to us."

"I think time is important. You don't even know what can happen in a few weeks. If God doesn't hurry with his answers, he can stay where he is."

"Maybe you want to tell me? Sometimes it helps to express your worries."

"I don't think it helps to tell you that I haven't been able to sleep since my grandma died ..."

Now it was out and somehow it flipped a switch and the words gushed out of him.

"... and not only did I lose the last family I had, Bird dragged me to this fucked up city too. I don't know anyone here or anything. What does God have to say about it? I don't think he's interested in us if he's around."

Jordan let Caleb calm down again before speaking.

"What's your name, if I may ask?"

He was confused. He had actually expected that the priest would start to discuss his answers and ask for more details, like all adults. He decided to answer because he didn't want to 'express more of his worries'.

"Caleb."

Jordan smiled, slightly amused. The boy saw the grin with a changing mood and got angry.

"What do you think that's funny?"

"No not at all. I think you will find your way Caleb. Do you know your name occurs in the bible? It means loyal, full of devotion, with all your heart, brave".

Caleb raised an eyebrow over this revelation, surprised and calmer now. But suddenly the door was pushed opened and a nurse looked around searching.

"Caleb Reaves?"

Caleb dropped his head on the back of the chair in front of him and sighed. That would cause trouble again.

"I'm glad we found you. All the hospital staff is looking for you.

Do you realize the trouble you caused?"

Pastor Jordan jumped into the rut for Caleb. The boy had obviously had enough on his plate. He didn't even have to lie.

"He was just looking for a little rest and just wanted to go back to his room, right Caleb?"

Caleb looked at the man and wondered why he was helping him. But then nodded ruefully and let the nurse escort him outside. Jordan looked after him thoughtfully and continued to talk to the Lord.

Oh Lord, have mercy on this poor lost boy and give peace to his heart.

The nurse took him back to his room where Bird was waiting.

"Caleb, are you okay?"

He flinched from her embrace. She acted as if they hadn't fight just yesterday and he switched to stubborn, put his hands in his pockets and nodded sullenly.

"You can't just get out of your room like that! What was that supposed to mean?"

"Can we just go home?"

Bird snorted in frustration and tried to calm down again. The constant fighting did nothing good. She even understood a little that he wanted to go home.

"Pack your things, I'll talk to the doctor."

*** SPN *** BH AU ***

June 1983 New York City

He walked through the overcrowded school hallways and looked for the way to his classroom. A group of older student came towards him and he was pushed hard on the shoulder.

"Hey, watch out you freak!"

He hated this school. Caleb rubbed his shoulder as he watched the guy go. The rest of the day didn't go any better either. He was still trying to work through with the material, and the English teacher found it obviously funny to ask him about grammar today. The class had at least had something to laugh about. Fed up with English, he snuck out of school. These assholes can go and fuck themselves.

He had really tried, he had been trying to function for over a month. Abe Sullivan had turned up at Bird's house as soon as he was released from the hospital and had made it clear to the two that further such actions by Caleb would result in Bird being stripped of foster mother status.

He was getting angrier and angrier and his feet carried him towards the East River. His gaze fell on the gate of the Manhattan Bridge and he headed for the interesting structure. For a long time he just looked at the construction. He thought of his father, who had liked to bring him models of bridges. He ask himself the same question since years. What happened that night? Why did his father do this to his mother ... he couldn't even think the thought to its end. Tears welled up in his eyes.

Caleb tried to think about something else and looked at the passers-by. When he had tortured himself enough with happy families, he looked at the clock of the bus station. He had to go home or Bird would be calling the cops again. The last few weeks she has been particularly precise with the times he should be home.

The pre-teen opened the door and Bird stood in the hallway with her arms crossed, apparently already waiting for him. Caleb checked the watch. He was on time, why she was so upset?

"Where have you been!? Do you realize that when you skip school, you'll be noticed? The director called me, again! Talk to me if there is a problem in school."

"I was sick, I needed some fresh air."

Bird didn't take the lazy excuse.

"In such cases, you go to the school nurse or sign off, you don't just leave the school premises, and then why didn't you come home? You left school 4 hours ago! Where did you hang around?"

Bird sighed in frustration and tried to calm down. He was fine, he had come home and wasn't lying unconscious or dead in any alley in NYC. She continued calmer now.

"Caleb, I'm worried about you. Have you got yourself pills again?"

"What! NO! Leave me the fuck alone!"

He turned and ran into his room before she could say another word to him. His door was still broken and he had already made a habit of tucking the chair on the doorknob to prevent Bird from entering. She thought he was a junkie, just fucking perfect. Caleb hadn't bought any more pills. He had learned his lesson and the last thing he wanted was to wake up in the hospital again.

Caleb's anger rose up his throat. He had to take it out on something and rammed his fist into the wall of the room. It hurt, but the anger suppressed the pain, he hit again and again. Until his hand was bleeding and he dropped to his knees. His hand trembled and the pain started. The boy stared at his blood pouring from his split knuckles. With the other hand he clutched his wrist and leaned against the wall, resting his head to the wall and the tears of despair trickled down his cheeks.

"Caleb, I put some food in the oven for you, I have to go to the store now, okay?"

Bird received only a grumble in response because if he didn't answer, Bird would have probably already dialed 911 again. The front door closed and he was alone. Alone with his thoughts, alone with his pain, alone with his nightmares. The teen couldn't tell how long he sat on the floor and did nothing. But he was hungry and he had at least to clean his hand.

He headed for the bathroom first and ran water over his blood crusted swollen knuckles. It burned. Damn it burned. He should find another outlet for his anger, at least no more the wall. It started to bleed again, he pressed a towel on it and looked awkwardly for a bandage. At least by now he could put on a simple bandage. The only thing he had enjoyed besides art class was the first aid course and today the course showed what it brought him.

Satisfied with the result, he went into the kitchen and ate what was left in the oven. He didn't give much attention to the food. Then the telephone rang. Who could call here? Only a few people had even the number. Unsure, he picked up the phone and listened.

"Hello Ms. Isbell? Hello?"

"This is Caleb."

"Caleb, this is Abe Sullivan. How are you?"

Caleb chuckled his shoulders and a short, crazy laugh escaped his throat. That was a question! Like most people, he lied to this question, which was almost never meant to be honest, but rather a greeting.

"Good, I'm peachy!"

Abe noticed the sarcasm.

"Where's Ms. Isbell? I have a few things to discuss with her."

What was it he wanted to discuss with Bird? Of course it was about him, and again he had nothing to say.

"She's in the store. Try again later."

He threw the phone down, went back to his room and stayed there until Bird came home and called for dinner.

Sullenly, he put the book aside and entered the kitchen a little later, only to stop in shock because at the table was none other than his case worker, Abe Sullivan. He quickly caught himself hiding his injured hand behind his back and give one of his cheeky phrases.

"Abe man, what brings you to our humble hut?"

Abe did not miss the movement. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

"Caleb, I would have spoken to you earlier if you hadn't hung up so quickly."

Reaves just shrugged and sat across from Abe at the table. Bird put a plate in front of him and continued to speak.

"Mr. Sullivan visited me at the store. He wanted to see how we were doing."

Bird looked at him intently, realizing that she wanted him to behave properly. Why should he do her this favor? He picked up the cutlery and everyone in the room stared at the bandage on his hand. A few red stains of blood had soaked the bandage and were clearly visible.

Bird roughly pushed back the chair and snapped at the boy.

"Caleb, what happened?"

Reaves shrugged irrelevantly. And started to eat.

"No big deal, I fell. Shit like that happens. Too bad I can't do homework with that."

"You should have a doctor look at that. Not that anything is broken."

Abe didn't buy the story from him. Bird had just told him what had happened today. She would have mentioned if he'd been hurt. But he wasn't prepared for the outburst of anger that followed. Caleb got up suddenly.

"Fuck, I don't give a shit about your opinion! You're not dragging me to the doctor again! I'm good!"

He swept his plate from the table, which broke into many pieces when it hit the floor, and stormed out of the room. Abe and Bird stared after the boy.

"Are you okay, Ms. Isbell?"

Bird shook her head and burst into tears. Abe waited until she had recovered and handed her a handkerchief.

"I just don't know how to go on. What should I do with him?"

"I see what you mean, Caleb has been through a lot and you don't know how to deal with him and the situation. On this point, he apparently closes himself off from everyone who wants to help him. I know it sounds harsh, but maybe it will be better, for both of you, if Caleb is put somewhere else. To have a fresh start without you as a constant reminder of his old life."

Bird stared at him, startled. She felt terrible. Ruth would be so disappointed. She wanted Caleb to be fine, and the way they kept quarreling was in no way good for either of them. Mr. Sullivan may have been right.

"What would that look like?"

"First of all we would have to report the matter to the youth welfare office and they would look for a foster family who could fit. The rest is up to the judge."

"He'll hate me for this."

She buried her face in her hands and Abe patted her shoulder sympathetically.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. I don't know if I made any bad mistakes with the youth welfare way of dealing with such cases. Feel free to tell me. And please review, it would so make my day.


	15. Big Changes

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, June 1983

Bird hadn't been to church since New Orleans. She used to go often. But today she decided it was time. She stood in front of the church building near Central Park with its red front doors, sighed heavily and entered.

She looked at Jesus, whose portrait was enthroned in the center over the white altar, how he spread his hands invitingly and felt that it was right to come here.

She prayed a long time. Poured out her heart before the Lord. Counted all her sad experiences of the last few months starting with the death of her best and only friend and how her life had taken such a drastic turn afterwards. Suddenly she was Caleb's foster mother. The poor boy she had known for so long, and yet he always seemed stranger to her. She had no children and she was also the youngest in her family and actually had no experience with children, least of all with teenagers and certainly not with a boy whose life simply still held a depth in store for him. She had be thinking she would make it, Ruth had made it too. But Ruth had had it and complained often enough about her suffering.

It was different when you just listen to a friend who tells you that her grandson wakes up screaming almost every night because he dreams again and again of his father murdering his mother and killing himself, hardly calming down again and can only fall asleep again in bed with her.

It was different when the child suddenly screams in your house, doesn't let you into the room and you have to listen to him crying in the other room until he sleeps again.

It was different to find him not moving on the bathroom floor, to have the ambulance in the house and to have to think so much about her dead friend in her kitchen.

It was just as different to find the money and the pills that Caleb had in his room and to have the feeling that you didn't even know this person.

Lord please don't make me do the wrong choice. Caleb will hate me for that and think I gave up on him. Please let me do the right thing.

She lost track of time in church until she finally brought calm to her troubled heart. It was late, almost noon. She had to go. Caleb waited for her in the Central Park. She had told him they needed to talk and thought it was better to do it elsewhere than in her apartment. She didn't want him to realize that he couldn't stay with her for the first time when the judge hit with the hammer. But knew he wouldn't take it well. In public he would at least not smash anything or scream at her. She just couldn't take it anymore.

When she got what it takes to have balance in her life again, she wanted to bring Caleb back to her. At least give him the choice if he wanted to. Maybe he would be happier where he was then. Mr. Sullivan had assured her that he would be housed in NYC so he wasn't too far away.

Central Park, near Strawberry Fields, at the same time

Mackland Ames liked coming here, his father Cullen had an appointment with him here. They have met again since his accident on a constant occasion and he enjoyed having his father with him. He saw the older man approaching and took him warmly in his arms.

"Dad, good to see you."

"You too, my son. How are you, you look tired."

The two Ames men started their usual round of the park and told each other all the news.

"Yes, the FBI had work for me again. It wasn't going as well as I'd wanted. Let's talk about something else."

"Well. How was your meeting with James Murphy? I'm glad you made some kind of new friend. As you get older, it doesn't get any easier to make new friends."

"Very well Dad, yes I would say I count him among my friends."

Mac had to smile to himself and regretted a little that he didn't tell his father that there was a supernatural world out there which he now was sort of part of, but it was better that way.

"And do you think there will be a Mrs. Ames in your life soon? I mean you are successful, handsome and you are in the bloom of your life. Which woman wouldn't want you?"

"Dad, let it be. I'll tell you when I find the right one."

Mackland suddenly had a strange feeling in his head. As if someone was nearby to look for. But when he looked around, he saw only the usual passers-by walking their way, parents playing with their children and a boy sitting on a bench. He looked at him a moment longer than the other passers-by, but didn't know why. He couldn't even see his face because he had his black hood pulled down over his face. His father tore him from his thoughts.

"Let's go eat something son, I'm starving."

Mac noded and the two Ames men went on to call a cab to take them to their favorite restaurant on the Manhattan Bridge.

Caleb wondered what was up to Bird for so long. He's been sitting here for what felt like an eternity. If he had known it would take her that long, he would have continued walking through the park. He looked at his battered knuckles in frustration. His hand still hurt. Still, he didn't think anything was broken. At least he could draw. Bird didn't need to know. So at least he didn't have to do any homework for the past two days. He didn't understand the stuff at school anyway. So what if he had to repeat the year. He didn't care. He hadn't made friends here and didn't want to. His heart still had enough to contend with the last wounds of his friendship with Penny. His eyes stung and he blinked away the tears that tried to make their way when he thought of Penny. He just couldn't bring himself to call her. As much as he wanted to hear her voice.

Pull yourself together man, she's better off without you. Look at how broken you are. She doesn't need that. Besides, you're forever apart. That wouldn't do anything good at all.

He removed the hood and ruffled his black hair when Bird called his name. All morning he had been wondering what she had to discuss with him. He suspected nothing good. Especially not that they had come here especially for that.

"Where have you been forever? I begun to think you wanted to abandon me here!"

Bird swallowed the words. She felt so bad. Did he suspect something? Maybe it wasn't so good to want to discuss this with him after all.

"I'm sorry, Caleb. I had to sort my thoughts before."

Caleb felt uncomfortable. That seemed more serious than he thought, the way she looked at him and what she said. Bird was visibly uncomfortable, he could almost feel her fear.

"It's OK. What did you want to discuss with me?"

"Come on, let's sit down."

"That bad, huh? What did I do now?"

Bird took a seat on the next bench and motioned for Caleb to sit next to her. She tried to ignore his comment.

He didn't want to sit on the fucked up bench any longer, but he did her the favor.

"You yourself know what we've been through in the last few months. I know it wasn't easy in any way. I really tried, you have to believe me. But I just don't know how to go on. You were there when Mr. Sullivan said you have to quit these runaways and all the other stuff, and I saw you've tried, I really did. But I just have no more strength for it…"

Caleb got sick. That wasn't really happening at the moment, he just imagined it. Bird couldn't really have said that.

"… I've talked to Mr. Sullivan about it and he sees it as I do, that the way things are going between us at the moment is not going well. For none of us. You will initially be placed in a foster family. You have a better environment, people who know their way around children and maybe even siblings. Mr. Sullivan is already looking for a suitable ..."

Caleb hadn't noticed he'd got up, but now he was looking down at Bird, who was sitting on the bench, staring at the floor as she spoke and kneaded her hands. He noticed that she felt uncomfortable. But that couldn't be compared to how he felt. He couldn't find words for it but ALONE. She let him down.

"... till I've sorted everything in my life, we can try again."

Bird looked at Caleb, who was now standing. That couldn't be good, but he hadn't yelled at her yet. At least something. He just stood there.

"I hate you!"

There it was what she had feared. He didn't scream, he didn't run away, he just stood there saying these three words to her with not much more than a whisper. What should she do? She got up and took a step towards him, but he raised his hand and turned around. Now he was running.

He ran. The park was filling up with people who went for a walk here on Saturdays. He bumped into several of them who shouted after him loudly. He ignored them. He came to halt as he stood on the Bow Bridge and held onto the railing. He had to calm down, there were so many people here. He couldn't break down in public. He stared into the water. Pulled his hood back over his face and let the tears flow easily. They soaked his sweater, dripped into the water and nobody paid him any attention. What did he expect. He was like an ass to Bird. He could even understand her a little. Nobody really wanted him. He would just take everything that came. He had no more strength to fight. The teen buried his face deep in the sleeve of his sweater.

In a cab in NYC at the same time

Mackland was sitting next to his father as he held his head in pain. What was the matter, since the park he felt a slight tug behind his eyes. But now it was like a hammer hitting him.

"Mackland, are you okay? Son?"

Mac could only raise his hand until he had control of the pain, which he realized he could suppress. At least move down. He should talk to Missouri about it, but he just couldn't really get warm with the woman. He rejected the idea.

"I'm fine Dad, I have a headache, I'll be over soon."

"Should we quit our plans? We can take you home."

"No, everything is OK. It's all right now."

Cullen studied his son's pained face, which seemed to be slowly relaxing. He wished his son wouldn't do the extra work at the FBI. But said nothing more about it.

Bird's apartment in the evening

The door opened softly and Caleb tried to slip straight into his room.

"Caleb! I am happy that you are back."

Bird spoke softly and friendly, but he didn't want to speak to her. He was just back in control to the point where he felt ready to go home. He just wanted to go to his room.

"I am tired. I'll go to my room if I may."

"I'm so sorry, Caleb ..."

He cut it off with a rough wave of his hand.

"Just leave it. It's your decision. I do not wanna talk about it anymore. Do what you have to do."

He disappeared upstairs and left her there. In his room he barricaded the door as usual and started packing. He didn't want to be a burden to Bird any longer than necessary. When Abe called, he wanted to be ready for whatever.

***SPN***BH AU***

Oct. 31, 1983 - New York City

Thinking back to this moment, Caleb had to reconsider his attitude. He was in no way ready for what was coming. Foster families were really fucked up or was he just so fucked up?

In the meantime he had been through several foster families and none of them could bear it long with him. The second one just didn't care, they just wanted the money and treated him like shit and the others had dragged him back to Abe after a few weeks because they couldn't stand his nightmares, his behavior and his skill to get himself into trouble. He tried to make all his emotions invisible to others. He listened to no one anymore. Should they do what they wanted with him. He now always hid his broken self behind the facade of the sullen or cheeky teen.

At least most of them hadn't cared who he met in the afternoon, and so he had reconnected with Elliot and had done some crazy shit with him. As a bonus he also knew better how much alcohol he could tolerate now.

Bird had him back for two week now. She had made an impression on the whole youth welfare office with her tenacity. But it had only worked out well with them for a week. Caleb had seen Bird cry when she thought he was asleep. Really, he thought she remembered how bad he could sleep. Of course he had noticed. Even so, they quickly started arguing again. Unlike the other foster families, she really cared about the boy and had forbidden him to hang out in town in the afternoons. Only today he had been able to soften her because it was Halloween.

So today he met with Elliot and his buddies on Halloween afternoon. A can of beer later they wanted to beautify the newly painted community center. It was too white for them. Caleb didn't spray walls himself, so he just watched out for the cops while he drank the second can of beer. He got bored. He just wanted to turn around and see what the others took so long when he saw the police car turn the corner. He whistled the agreed signal and alerted the others. Then he took off. The fun began. At least that's how Caleb felt in his intoxication. They ran down the alleys, crossed front gardens and cut short through playgrounds.

When they had left the cops behind, they all headed for the Mc D to meet again. There they were fed by Elliot with food. The others didn't stop cheering about how they had run away from the cops and made more talk of it than it was.

The dizziness vanished, as did the slight feeling that he had just had. He soon said goodbye and headed to Bird's home. He stopped in front of a shop window and studied his reflection for a moment. God he was so exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under his eyes. The others wanted to celebrate in their place tonight. Caleb wasn't sure yet whether to come. It would be no problem to sneak away at night and come back to the others. Caleb turned his gaze off the window, he didn't even have to bother with a costume. Alone in the reflection his look could be frightening.

The walls of his room were crushing him and he soon decided that he would join the others as soon as the house was quiet. It was just 11:10 pm when he fled again over the fire escape.

Loud music received him. Some hip hop mix. The boy didn't recognize it. He didn't care anyway what numbed his senses. Terry was just drinking another poor idiot with a row under the table. Caleb hadn't felt like it anymore. The party was in full swing and he had tried but couldn't find Elliot. The boy didn't have much to do with the others except to exchange a few polite phrases. At least he could kill the time here before the ceiling fell on his head in his room.

He kept looking around and bumped into a greasy guy with oiled hair. He pressed Caleb against the wall and entered his personal space. Far too close for the teen.

"Hey, sweety, haven't seen you around. Do you want to earn a few dollars?"

Did he hear right? Was the guy digging at him? He pushed him back abruptly, but the guy didn't move an inch. Instead, he grinned at him disgustingly. His breath smelled of alcohol and suddenly Caleb felt a hand on his pants.

"Take your hands off you asshole!"

"Ronny, back off. The kid belongs to me."

Elliot pulled Ronny away from Caleb and then pushed himself in the way. Ronny straightened his clothes and raised his hands in innocence.

"Easy Elliot, I have to be up to date on the goods. Maybe you should tattoo your gang so that you can be recognized straight away."

With these words Ronny withdrew.

"Caleb man, you all right? Sorry, I didn't expect you back today. Come on let's have a drink."

Soon Caleb felt light again. And a goofy grin was carved on his face.

At around 3 a.m. Elliot could be seen stumbling out of the construction site with Caleb under his arm. Elliot had given him too much. He regretted it. But he had never left his friend out of sight. Now he had to get Caleb home somehow. It was his fault he was here, after all. He couldn't leave him alone at this place with Ronny around and he knew how much trouble the teen would get, if he wasn't with his foster family in the morning. Hell on the other hand trouble seems to find this boy anytime. He decided to let his little buddy run a few more yards so he could sober up.

"Elliot, stop! I think I'm gonna throw up."

Elliot stopped and waited patiently until Caleb was back with him. He didn't look quite so pale anymore.

"Ok, Caleb, buddy. Where do you live right now, I'll take you home before you get in trouble."

"At Disneyworld with tweety, you know that …"

Caleb laughed at his joke, which Elliot didn't understand, so they walked a bit until they came to a shop that was still open. Elliot was sure that a bottle of water would help to get Caleb clear enough that he would remember the address of his current foster family.

"Ok buddy you wait right here not movin', I'll get a bottle of water quickly. Do you get that?"

"Yes sir. I'm not moving ..."

After a sloppy salute, Caleb leaned against the lantern in front of the shop and waited obediently. But the patience lasted only a few seconds before a nice police car caught his attention.

He pushed himself away from the lantern, walked a few cars further and, grinning, pulled on his pants and relieved himself on the car door of the patrol car.

"Happy Halloween you motherfuckers."

Elliot just came out of the store and looked around for Caleb. When the drama took its course. The cop was just getting back to his car followed by his partner.

"Hey, what are you doing there!"

The officer could hardly believe what he was seeing. There was a teenager standing in front of his car at 3 o'clock at night and pissing on his door!

Caleb packed up and turned to face the noise. Elliot went sick when the scene opened before him. He was sorry for Caleb but he turned and kept himself moving the other way. He couldn't afford to meet the cops. Damn Reaves. He always attracted trouble like shit attracts flies.

The officer doesn't hesitate for long, grabbing Caleb roughly and twisting his arm back. He tried to squirm as best his drunkenness allowed but that didn't work.

"Okay, you just earned a free pass to the police department. We'll be excited to see how funny your parents find it."

"Fuck you officer pig! I have no parents."

Caleb was pushed into the police car and the door was closed with a heavy click. A short time later he found himself in a familiar-looking cell and later the day in the well-known courtroom. Judge Baker's voice echoed high in his aching head.

"... therefore I refrain from leaving Caleb Reaves in the care of Ms. Isbell ..."

He had really screwed it up again, but he couldn't help but smile at his action yesterday.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, my story ends here. Caleb's continues directly in the first sentece in Williamson M. Scott's "Stranded". I tried to place the last chapter seamlessly before Stranded. So have fun reading on!


End file.
